gova

(Continued from Jan. 30, 2010)

“Concerning the matter of observing interesting trees, shrubs or plants, were you able to get a definite indication from Bob that he would enjoy doing that with you?” I asked.  “In budding relationships, one would normally expect an extraordinary willingness to please the potential partner.”

“Regretfully, there was no such definite reply,” Alice answered.  “He asked whether I would be willing to give him some time to rearrange his leisure activities.  ‘That way I will gradually get used to a routine that will be good for both of us,’ he reasoned.  ‘In the mean time, we can see whether we are compatible when it comes to satisfying each other’s physical needs,’ he added with a chuckle.  Obviously, his proposition was a great example of avoiding commitment, but I went along with it.”

“I am assuming that Bob made no attempt to change his daily routine,” I commented.  “His ego led him to assume that his great performance during frequent cuddling sessions solved all problems.  Did you try to clarify, in some way, that much more was needed to achieve a sound relationship?”

“I did indeed,” Alice responded.  “I made exploring nature a sort of test case.  I reasoned: ‘If he doesn’t want to spend considerable time in pursuing an activity that, along the river, had rendered him excited– at least temporarily, flexibility in other areas would be pretty well impossible to get.’  I think that is solid reasoning,” she said in conclusion.  She then stopped and her glance at me requested my opinion.

“I agree with you completely,” I asserted.  “But, just to satisfy my curiosity, I would like to know whether you ever returned to the river trail.  If so, how many times did you revisit that interesting place?”

“That happened only once,” Alice replied.  She then explained: “Bob had gone for his usual workout and I met him at the gym.  I came straight from work.  It was a beautiful late-afternoon and I was looking forward to a lengthy walk—way beyond the point where we had gone the previous time.  However, we didn’t even get that far.  After, about ten minutes, he started complaining about his thirst.  Of course, he was talking about a craving for alcoholic beverages, for there was no shortage of liquid.  A sudden brainwave had provided me with the foresight of bringing four bottles of cold Perrier.  I had chosen that particular brand because, at home, he had got into the habit of drinking one of those in between his bottles of beer.  He said that it improved his performance in the hay.”

“So how much time had passed before you ended up in the pub?” I wanted to know.

“It was exactly twenty-five minutes and you will be amused to learn that jugs of draft were on sale again.  In fact, visiting that pub after his workout had become a customary routine for him.  So, he was aware of the draft sale and had scheduled our so-called nature exposure day to coincide with that sale of beer.”

“It is obvious that the guy is an alcoholic,” I observed.  “At this point, there are no serious repercussions because his steady job limits his drinking time.  Also, he works out consistently; but, without professional help, his future will be difficult.”

(To be continued)

(Continued from Jan. 28, 2010)

While Alice took a sip from her Perrier, I addressed Thea and Elsie: “At the time of your relationship with Bob, were you aware of his considerable knowledge about local flora?”  It appeared that neither of them had any idea of his talent in that field.

“I suggested numerous times that we should go for a walk in the park in order to get some exercise in the fresh air.” Elsie clarified.  “I mean, the air in the gym is bound to be pretty stale.  But, every time I mentioned a stroll, Bob found some excuse to avoid our stepping out.”

“Then, when he noticed our disappointment, he would attempt to commence a cuddling session,” Thea clarified further.  “Obviously, a rapid shift from one mood to another isn’t very easy for a girl, a fact that Bob didn’t seem to comprehend.  His narcissistic tendencies possibly caused that flaw in his character.”

When Alice resumed her narrative, she began by explaining in what way the incident along the river had affected her: “I was struggling with the process of deciding whether I should start a relationship with Bob or not,” she said.  “I was leaning toward declining to do so; but, his excitement about birch trees had added an interesting dimension to his world.  I was hoping that I could encourage him to curtail, to a certain extent, his other leisure activities.  Hence, time would become available for exploring the local flora more fully.”

“Of course, I was not at all surprised by Bob’s early phone call the next day.  With Elsie out of his life, he was eager to commence his next relationship.  I accepted his invitation to meet at the restaurant where Elsie had hit on him several months previously.  Because I was wondering about his choice of place, I contacted Elsie immediately after the call with Bob had ended.”

“I asked her whether she suspected that Bob had caught on to our conspiracy.  ‘That would be very unlikely,’ Elsie reasoned.  ‘He has chosen that restaurant because it is easy to reach by public transportation and because the food there is good and reasonably priced.’  Her answer made sense, so I dismissed any misgivings about the situation.”

“In the restaurant, we had a very relaxing dinner, during which I encouraged him to talk about his leisure time pursuits.  I made him give me specific details relating to the amount of time spent in carrying out those activities, which led him to proclaim with a laugh: ‘I think that you want to know everything about my lifestyle before becoming involved.’  Whereupon, I pointed out that he might have to curtail his activities somewhat in order to make room for some of my interests.”

“He then commented that we wouldn’t necessarily have to do all things together.  ‘Some activities are better if done together, though,’ he joked.  ‘But, all kidding aside, what not-so-intimate activity would you like to do together?’  I answered that it would please me if we could spend a lot of time exploring nature–as we had done the previous day along the river…”

(To be continued)

(Continued from Jan. 26, 2010)

“The feasibility of a walk along the river had become clear to me as I had crossed the bridge earlier,” Alice explained.   “There was a trail that continued as far as the eye could see; and, with two lanes in each direction and no other vehicle nearby, I could feast my eyes on lush shrubbery, which had been transformed into fresh spring green by the sudden rays of sunshine.  The path looked exceptionally inviting; but, at that point, a stroll along the river with Bob did not cross my mind.  I planned to mention the trail to Thea and Elsie.”

Turning to me, Alice said with a mischievous grin: “You are probably curious about the kind of dialogue that went on between the big boy and me.  You will be as surprised as I was when he first initiated the conversation.  After we had walked in silence for about two minutes, he suddenly raced ahead toward   a solitary tree that was surrounded by various kinds of shrubs.  He struggled his way through the thick undergrowth so that he could touch the tree’s bark.  He appeared happier at that moment than he had been while downing his stale beer.”

“Because I was wearing a skirt, I hadn’t followed him through the bushes.  Consequently, I was at quite a distance from him.  So, he raised his voice and cried out excitedly: ‘This is one of my favorite trees.   Most people would call this a silver birch because of the nice white bark; but it is, in fact, a white birch.  The bark detaches in wide strips and curls.  I will bring you a fragment so that you can inspect it from nearby.’  As he handed me the white strip he asked: ‘Are you familiar with other kinds of birch trees?’  I shook my head to express negation.”

“Bob seemed happy about my lack of familiarity with the local flora; it gave him a chance to display his knowledge, which he proceeded to do instantly:  ‘There are quite a number of different birches.  People usually tell them apart by the color of their bark.  The silver birch, which is also called a yellow birch, has a bark that is silvery yellow in color.  But, I find the river birch the most beautiful of the species.  The bark matures and curls with a salmon-red coloring.’  He then explained where he had learned about the local flora.  When young, he had spent much time with his father, a gardener on a big estate.”

“When he asked whether I had any questions, I answered in the affirmative.  I was curious about the peeling phenomenon.  So I asked: ‘Does the bark of all species of birches detach?’  He answered: ‘I know of only one variety that doesn’t peel; it is the black birch, also known as sweet birch.’  I had heard enough; his knowledge in that area was impressive.”

“More than an hour had passed since we had commenced our stroll and the walk back to the bridge would probably take fifteen to twenty minutes.  Since Elsie and Thea had most definitely finished the moving process, I proposed our return.  On the way back, we exchanged cell phone numbers.”

(To be continued)

(Continued from Jan. 24, 2010)

I was curious about Alice’s remark regarding “the articles of British sportswriters.”  So, because I would probably forget to enquire later, I questioned: “In what way is Bob’s opinion about the eventual winner of the World Cup connected to British sportswriters?”

Alice treated us to one of her infectious bouts of laughter.  After about twenty seconds, she was able to articulate properly again.  “I was expecting you to be inquisitive about those sportswriters,” she snickered.  “In fact, I would have been disappointed if you hadn’t said anything.  You have just confirmed what I had always suspected: Alcohol, in moderation, does not affect your keenness of mind.”

I thanked her for the compliment, emphasizing that “moderation” was the key word.  I then added: “I am nevertheless of the opinion that my reaction time is off by a second or so.  Therefore, I am glad that you will be driving us home.”

Alice smiled and went on to explain about the World Cup articles: “My boss, a real soccer enthusiast from continental Europe, drew my attention to ‘the biased kind of sport writing that is prevalent in the British press’ and, consequently, also on the Internet.  A few months ago, he proclaimed: ‘Many North Americans may have been led to believe that only England is capable of winning the Cup.’  Since checking the veracity of all of my boss’ non-work related statements would be quite a task, the one about the Brits and their World Cup chances had seemingly gone into one ear and out of the other.”

“Therefore, I was surprised that Bob’s World Cup opinions brought boss Adrian’s words back into my mind.  Furthermore, when the brawny boy said that other countries’ chances were very limited, I had the urge to point out that continental Europeans had other opinions.  Of course, I refrained from doing so because the smooth functioning of Elsie’s exit was at stake.  I have since heard from the girls about Bob’s British heritage; his father came over to North America as a teenager.  So, my words would not have altered his conviction.  But enough about sports; let’s go back to the bar and Bob’s jug of beer.”

“Bob had poured the last amount of stale beer from the jug into his glass.  Almost immediately, a waitress removed the empty container, enquiring casually: ‘Ready for another one?’  There was a brief moment of hesitation before he answered: ‘No thank you.  I have to go on my way.’  After the waitress had gone, he said: ‘That was a tough decision; it is hard to resist good draft when it is on sale.’  I smiled, which he may have interpreted as a token of agreement.  In fact, as I regarded the deep yellow brew in his glass, I thought: ‘Not a trace of foam means super stale.’  He threw back the beer in one gulp.”

“As I walked out of the pub, wondering whether Elsie would need more time, an idea came to me.  I would suggest a stroll to the nearby riverside and, at the same time, gauge his interest in me.  There had been clear indications that he had enjoyed our tête-à-tête, but not a word had been said about future meetings.   Apparently, he was waiting for me to make the next move; his narcissistic ego needed a boost.  So I asked: ‘Would you like to go with me for a walk along the river?’  He readily accepted. ..”

(To be continued)

(Continued from Jan. 22, 2010)

Alice stopped her narration briefly to take a few sips of her Perrier and to give the other girls a chance to point out any important details that she might have left out of her story.  There were no corrections or additions.  We three were content to sit back, listen and, periodically, take a small sip of Calvados.  So, Alice continued with her narration.

“In the changing room, I phoned Elsie to tell her that Bob had taken the bait and that I should be able to keep him occupied for a few hours.  In case he had a sudden change of heart, which would be very unlikely, I would notify her immediately.”

“Clearing out her things would be easy for Elsie; she had already made a check list for all the possessions that she had in Bob’s apartment.  She and Tea would be able to gather everything within an hour.  Also, the note, in which she stated that she could no longer bear his remarks about her driving, had already been written.”

“I was not surprised when Bob suggested that we walk from the gym to the bar.  Anyone, not familiar with his paranoia about being in a vehicle with a female driver, would probably have objected.  I was able to score points by being agreeable about the matter.  Besides, with robust Bob by my side, taking a short-cut through a suspicious looking alley would present little risk.”

“After we had found a corner that provided a semblance of seclusion, a large sign caught Bob’s attention.  Its purpose was to inform the clientele that a draft version of a certain brand of beer was on sale.  The provision was that one needed to buy a whole jug of it to get the rebate.   While he beckoned a waitress, Bob explained to me that the price was excellent.  My response was that he would have to drink the whole gallon by himself.   Because I had to drive back, I would not indulge in alcoholic beverages.  He ordered the jug anyway.”

“I have heard that beer in an open container goes flat very quickly,” Alice asserted.  I nodded vehemently to indicate the correctness of that notion.  She smiled at me then continued: “However, my mission was to provide Elsie with enough time to remove her belongings from Bob’s apartment.  So, I definitely wasn’t going to have a discussion about that topic.”

“It turned out that a gallon of beer is not a lot for a real guzzler.  A big glass and a half disappeared in the initial three gulps, which took less than a minute.  Fortunately, he slowed down somewhat when I engaged him in a conversation about sports.  We discussed hockey, American football, basketball and baseball, about which he appeared to be extraordinarily passionate.  Consequently, those sports were good for at least an hour.  Then, I mentioned soccer, which prompted him to remark: ‘The World Cup usually gets a fair amount of my TV viewing time.’  After he had expressed his opinion about the chances of winning the cup for the various countries, I mentally noted that he had been reading mainly the Articles of British sportswriters.”

(To be continued)

(Continued from Jan. 20, 2010)

Three members of the foursome were pleasantly tipsy and less astute; but, Alice, the Perrier-drinking fourth member, was as sagacious as ever.  Therefore, I suggested that she commence the narration of her entrance into Bob’s world.

“Let me start by clarifying that I wasn’t particularly affected by Bob’s physical attributes,” Alice began.  “I must admit, though, that I was somewhat curious about his life style.  Spending big money on gym memberships in order to attain maximum physical fitness and then going home to drink gallons of beer, seemed unreasonable to me.”

“My main purpose, in becoming acquainted with Bob, was to relieve Elsie.  In addition to having become bored with his way of life, she was getting tired of his negative remarks about her ability to drive an automobile.   After all, what did he know about her dexterity or lack thereof?  He had never been in her car and he had never seen her drive.”

“All I had to do, in order to meet him, was find out the gym he was frequenting those days as well as its location,” Alice said with a chuckle.  “Elsie was able to supply me with those details within hours.  Three days later, she phoned me to announce that he had just left for one of his gym sessions.”

“The day before, I had visited the fitness center and I had been able to obtain a coupon for a one- day tryout session.  Obviously, I had no intention to become a member at that particular establishment,” Alice exclaimed with a laugh.  “So, equipped with my stylish gym bag, I set out to meet the guy who had been privileged to spend time with my great friends.”

“In the gym, the ladies’ section sort of wrapped around the men’s area.  That construction had probably been done purposely; it would allow intermingling of the genders.   Anyway, it suited me well.  I was able to work on equipment that was close to Bob’s.  Fortunately, I had worked out in a number of different health establishments; and, consequently, I had gained some knowledge about the various types of apparatuses.  I didn’t want to be seen fiddling around in an awkward manner. “

“During our individual physical efforts, I repeatedly smiled at Bob and, every time, he seemed to make an attempt at smiling back.  When one is in the process of lifting enormously heavy weights, a smile probably doesn’t come about so easily.  We hadn’t spoken a word, as I was waiting for him to speak first; but, then it occurred to me that he was used to women making the first move.”

“When it appeared that he was about to finish his session, I ventured: ‘I bet you are ready for a few beers.  I mean to replace all the liquid you have lost.’  After his concise confirmation, I asked: ‘Have you ever been to that neighborhood pub a couple of streets over?’  He answered that he didn’t know about its existence, which didn’t surprise me because it was not near public transport.”

“I told him that I was thirsty and would be heading for the pub in question.  ‘Are you interested in coming along?’ I asked while flashing my most seductive smile.  He accepted eagerly.”

(To be continued)

(Continued from Jan. 18, 2010)

There have been instances in my past when I had misjudged certain individuals.  I had believed them to be somewhat like me; but, after spending a relatively short while in their presence, I concluded that we had very little in common.   The task of letting those people know, without offending them, that I was no longer interested in spending time with them became enormous.   An attempt to come up with an adequate approach and suitable words involved a lot of rumination and the effort did not always meet with success.

I judged the girls’ description of Bob to be quite accurate and I was grateful for the specific details.  The information about his leisure-time pursuits will prevent another negative, time-consuming experience.  It will direct me to be friendly without accepting an invitation to have a beer together.

Immediately after the girls’ collective, in-depth scrutinization of Bob’s interests, they invited me to become a permanent member of their group.  I accepted without hesitation.  The recent passing of a longtime friend had created a large void and spending time with three bright young women on a regular basis would be mighty enjoyable.

When I stated unequivocally: “It will be my pleasure to make this group a foursome,” there was a loud, humorous sigh of relief from Elsie.  “All three of us are in great need of counseling,” she joked.

During the time that Elsie was still with Bob, I had a lengthy conversation with her in the parkade.  A few days before then she had been involved in an automobile accident.  Apparently, she had been trying to convince Bob, unsuccessfully, that the accident was not her fault.  He had not accepted her story about the events at face value as one would expect from a loving boy friend.  The problems regarding his mother’s and his sister’s accidents, about which I had no knowledge at the time of the conversation, would explain his attitude.  Anyway, she said that she needed counseling and I said that I had done some counseling during my teaching years in high school.  At that point, she had looked at her watch and she had come to the realization that she was “way late” for some appointment.  So, she jumped into the body shop’s replacement car and went on her way.

There was, of course, a serious underlying element in Elsie’s humorous remark concerning the need of counseling for all three of them.  Their spell with Bob may have been an interesting game that sharpened their wit; but, in the long run, it had been a waste of time.  Hence, counseling was indeed in order.

The biggest problem for a counselor is the “patient” who exclaims: “I don’t really need any help.”  The girls obviously didn’t fit into that category.  They were quite aware of the fact that a fascinating world was within their reach.   Counseling from a man who had lived longer and who had undergone more diverse experiences would help them to discover that world.

(To be continued)

(Continued from Jan. 16, 2010)

Only a few customers remained in the restaurant.  Meals would again be available at dinner time, which commenced at 5:00 PM.  However, the bar remained open and snacks, such as chips or nuts, could also be ordered.

Elsie explained that having lunch at Chez Antoine and then staying for dinner was not unusual for the three of them.  The prices for drinks were only half compared to those charged in a bar down the street.

“Besides, you wouldn’t enjoy the loud so-called music in that bar,” Tea remarked.  “You are a classical music guy.  So, the softly played French chansons that we are enjoying here must please you.”

“I don’t think we ever discussed one another’s preference in music,” I said teasingly.  “How do you know that I like classical music?”

“Whenever I passed the door of your apartment, it was the kind of music that I would usually hear.  My dad was also very fond of the classics,” Tea added.

The girls decided that indulging in an after-dinner drink would be the appropriate course of action for that day.  Because of my lengthy sojourn in France, I was considered the ideal person to recommend an alcoholic beverage that they hadn’t tried previously.  I told them that I would cooperate only if they let me pay for the liquor.  They agreed and I ordered half a liter of Calvados, which had been one of my favorites during my stay in France.

Alice pretended to be upset while she exclaimed: “When I volunteered to be the designated driver, I obviously had no idea that I was going to lose out on getting my portion of that ‘velvety smooth’ liquor.  I hope all of you appreciate my sacrifice as I down another Perrier.”

Pretending to be touched by her plight, I pointed out that I had foreseen her probable disappointment.  For that reason I had bought the whole bottle.  We would ask the server to bring a metric-system measuring glass so that we could determine accurately the amount that each one of us was allowed to consume.   Alice’s one quarter portion of the contents would remain in the bottle.  She elected that I take the bottle to my apartment, where it would be kept safely until a good opportunity for degustation would present itself.  We had a lot of fun trying to attain absolute accuracy during the measuring process.  Obviously, I let the younger, much-more-coordinated hands do the actual pouring.

A discussion had evolved about the fact that Bob and I lived completely different lives.  Of course, the girls knew every detail about his interests; about mine, they were making assumptions.  I did not challenge any of their fanciful notions because their final conclusion turned out to be fairly accurate: I engaged sparingly in the activities that appeared to fill a good portion of Bob’s life.  I watched sports on TV no more than an hour a week; he spent whole evenings doing so.  While being fanatically involved in the games, he consumed gallons of beer– a beverage that I rarely drank.  He enjoyed spending hours at the gym with his male friends.  I exercised regularly, but I preferred to do so outside, on the trails.

(To be continued)

(Continued from Jan. 14, 2010)

“…Thea phoned to inform him that she would not be able to return for a while.  His facial expression and his ‘I understand; it is OK’ answer conveyed to Elsie that Bob couldn’t believe his luck.  Therefore, she was not at all surprised when his demeanor changed abruptly.”

“He exclaimed: ‘The lady, who was sitting across from me minutes ago, has been called away; so, you are welcome to remain in that seat.’  He had extended the invitation with a jubilant tone in his voice not only because a new lady had come into his life, but also because (as Thea later theorized) it had crossed his mind that embarrassment had been avoided.  No longer would the waiter conclude that Bob’s lunch date had left him alone at the table.  So, without hesitation, he continued: ‘The meal has already been ordered.  When they serve it, you can have a look at it.  If you don’t like it, you can order something else.’  He then beamed a big smile at her.”

“Elsie would be in a position to show Bob that she was not a difficult person.  She had planned the meal with Thea, “Alice chuckled.

“Elsie assured him that she was hungry and that the cooks were known for making tasty meals.  She then leaned forward and confessed, almost in a whisper: ‘I have never done anything as impulsive as this before.  I don’t know what made me do it.  From a distance, you looked like someone whom I had met before.  Then, when you looked my way, it seemed easier to just sit down.  I mean rather than going through the whole explanation about having made a terrible error.’  She sat back and waited for his reaction.”

” He said, with a laugh: ‘I like to believe that you were attracted to me.’  Since it seemed to Elsie that he was expecting confirmation, she tried to think of an appropriate and witty remark.  At that moment, his phone rang.”

“Thea called to let him know that she had to go and look after a dear aunt for at least a month.  ‘I hope you won’t mind,’ she added, knowing full well that he was delighted about the turn of events.”

“Elsie’s observation was that he didn’t quite succeed in assuming a serious tone of voice when he responded: ‘I will miss you, but I understand that you need to do this.  Keep me informed about your aunt’s recovery.’  Then to Elsie: ‘That was the girl whose place you took.  If things work out between you and me, I will have to tell her that I moved on.’  He seemed to interpret Elsie’s broad smile as an indication that she was in total agreement with him.”

“After lunch, Elsie suggested that they go to a nearby bar for ‘a few drinks.’  She wanted to delay the return to his apartment.  Although she was looking forward to seeing its nice view, she needed to buy some time for Thea.”

“In the meantime, Thea and I went to pack her things,” Alice asserted.  “We needed plenty of time because, in addition to her clothes, there were pots, pans, glasses, ornaments etc.”

(Continued from Jan. 12, 2010)

When Alice was about to go into the logistics of Elsie’s “seduction” of Bob, I put forth a simple question: “Why did Bob never go to the parkade with any of you — for instance, to go to a social function together?”

“He did not trust our driving,” Elsie replied.  “Apparently, he had been in two major automobile accidents when he was young.  In one, his mother was the driver; in the other one, his sister was behind the wheel.  In his account of the events, Bob relates that he got severely hurt in both, but he made a full recovery.  His sister was not so lucky; she walks with a severe limp.”

When, Elsie paused, Thea explained: “There were very few social events that we attended together.  He would usually go out with his male friends.  That arrangement suited us fine, as it allowed us to meet with our two lady conspirators.  I can remember only two parties to which I accompanied him.  Both involved heavy drinking, so we took a taxi both ways.”

Without any further delay, Alice began to narrate how Bob met Elsie.  She had heard the relatively simple story several times; therefore, she remembered every important detail.  To facilitate comprehension of Bob’s reaction to Elsie’s advances, she pointed out that he harbors narcissistic tendencies at times.

“Thea talked Bob into going to a certain shopping mall with her,” Alice related.  “She had chosen that particular one because it was easily accessible via public transportation and there was a restaurant there that would be suitable for the plan.”

“In the restaurant, Thea walked to the appropriate table, from which she could see Elsie– at a certain distance behind a shrub.  Three minutes after the meals had been ordered, Elsie phoned and Thea walked to a corner of the restaurant to take the “private” call.  (Since he had a habit of seeking such privacy at home, Bob readily accepted the interruption.)  Elsie walked over and nonchalantly sat down across from Bob.  ‘I am sorry, that place is taken,’ he murmured.  Elsie joked: ‘You are right about that; I am firmly and comfortably seated in this booth.  But, you have no reason to be sorry about that.’  She then produced her most seductive smile.”

“Overwhelmed by the situation, Bob was not able to come up with an adequate reply.  ‘Without the threat of Thea’s imminent return, he would welcome me enthusiastically,’ Elsie thought.  So, she waited patiently for the next development to occur.  When it seemed that Bob was about to open his mouth, Thea phoned to inform him that she would not be able to return for a while.  His facial expression and his ‘I understand; it is OK’ answer conveyed to Elsie that Bob couldn’t believe his luck.”

(To be continued)

(Continued from Jan. 10, 2010)”

Alice burst out in laughter again.  In between the spells, she remarked: “I am curious about your initial thought process– I mean, when you first met me in the parkade.  Obviously, I was in an entirely different classification, compared to the owner or the daughter of the owner.”

“I don’t remember any particular thoughts.  You appeared as nice and friendly as your predecessors.  If I had been inclined to be judgmental, Bob would have been the target.  Unaware, at that time, of the special friendship between you three, I would probably have concluded that he was misleading you girls.  It appears now that you were very much in control of your own destiny.”

“Of course, if Bob became aware of our conspiracy, things could turn ugly,” Elsie remarked.

“I have no intention to breathe a word about our secret to anyone,” I declared categorically.  “It is an interesting situation of which he has benefited at least as much as you have.  I feel privileged that you have confided in me.  However, I would like to know what particular detail makes you fear that Bob may react in an ugly manner if he were to find out about the conspiracy.”

“Elsie and I had noticed, on a number of occasions, that Bob gets a strange look in his eyes when something goes against his wishes or when unfortunate incidents occur,” Thea explained.  “We found that facial expression really scary and we are afraid that discovering about our conspiracy may send him over the edge.  I think that he would consider it a major blow to his psyche.”

I then asked Alice about her thoughts concerning Bob’s reaction.  After all, if he were to react violently, she would probably receive the main impact of his anger—seeing that she was still living in his apartment.

“Although I have also noticed that look of extreme frustration on Bob’s face, I have never been as worried as Thea or Elsie about dire consequences,” Alice said calmly.  “And, now that you have avowed that you are on our side, the possibility of an immediate calamity seems to have been averted.  Nevertheless, I should find a way of getting out of Bob’s life as soon as possible.”

Thea had called a waitress so that we could order our dessert.  I let the girls do the choosing for me while I pondered over Alice’s predicament.  Immediately after the order had been placed, I proposed a sequence of events: “First of all, you will satisfy my curiosity and tell me how you, Thea, went about placing Elsie into Bob’s world; and, later, how you, Alice, managed to replace Elsie.  Then, next, we will brainstorm about a way for Alice to move away from Bob without creating too much of a scene.”  The girls agreed that it was a good plan.

My dessert was the same as Thea’s.  She couldn’t have made a better choice.  The dessert consisted of yellow European ice-cream, which was soft with a coarse texture and had undoubtedly been made on the premises.  The top of it had been decorated with chips of very dark chocolate.

While we were enjoying, our dessert, Thea told me that I looked very much like her deceased father.  “I am glad you don’t smoke, as he did all his life,” she added after a few seconds.

(Continued from Jan. 08, 2010)

When the chef removed the next layer, he deposited the slices on large oblong dishes and the servers went along the tables to offer a second helping of lamb.  Later, for a third helping, guests could help themselves from a dish near the alcove.

At our table, the second helping satisfied all.  The girls decided to leave some room for a special desert.  They had high praise for the chef’s creations made mainly of chocolate.  That would be for later.  We decided to let the food, ingested so far, digest somewhat.  Sipping the remainder of our carafe of wine would help that process along nicely.

When Alice was about to go into the logistics of transferring Bob from Thea to Elsie, the latter wanted to clarify a very important aspect concerning the various relationships.  She felt that I should be informed in very clear terms why they had opted for an early meeting with me.

“Alice is by far the most easygoing of the three of us,” she began.  “Thea and I had been imploring her for a while to contact you.  Since you and Bob are neighbors, it is a bit of a miracle that, during the three years that he has been in the apartment, you guys haven’t met.  I mean you go daily through the same halls.  Of course, he doesn’t go to the parkade since his work buddy picks him up at the front entrance.”

“And, I usually go out via the parkade gate because the garbage dumpster is there,” I enlightened them.  “Anyway, please continue.”

“Thea and I envisioned you two meeting and striking up a conversation, which could lead to the topic of his women.  Then, you, not aware of possible negative consequences, might have disclosed that we three girls are friends.  After all, such dialogue is not so farfetched; even Bob must have considered that you may have wondered about the different cars–always driven by females.  Although, weird as it may sound, he has never asked any of us whether we have met you.”

“Does he know that his neighbor is a guy?  I discovered only very recently that you girls were not the main occupant of the apartment.”  Then, turning to Thea: “Since you were the first one to start parking your car beside my Buick—after the stall had been empty for quite some time—I thought that you had bought the apartment.  Later, when Elsie appeared on the scene, my theory was that you two were sisters and that your father owned the apartment.”

“So, what theory did you come up with when I started parking my car in the spot?” Alice wanted to know.

“I didn’t think you were a third sister,” I joked.  “Actually, just before your arrival, I found out that the apartment belonged to a young man.  I came down the hall with a neighbor whom I know well; and, as we went by Bob’s door, the neighbor said: ‘The young guy in that apartment must be a construction worker.  I see him at the front entrance pretty well every day.  He always wears a bright yellow hard hat.’  I then remarked that I had never seen him.”

(To be continued)

(Continued from Jan. 06, 2010)

From our booth, we had a perfect view of the restaurant’s walk-in fireplace.  It was wide enough for a bench on either side; and, it was high enough to allow a fairly tall person to walk in without bending over.  That day, a young man was in the alcove.  He was slowly turning a spit that had a lamb attached to it.  Underneath it was a rectangular cast-iron container and, all along its length, flames leapt up to caress the meat.

About every five minutes, the young man would lift a tin can up to slightly above the carcass and, with a large brush, he would coat the meat.  He made sure that no spot was missed by giving the spit another slight turn and continuing the coating.  Thea observed: “I have noticed that he always moves the spit five times while he is putting on the sauce.  I am going to ask him about that routine.”

I stood up from my seat before she could ask me.  I concluded that she was probably tipsy after a glass and a half of wine.  So, I watched her intently as she walked over to the alcove and I was happy to notice that there was no lack of balance.

Thea spoke briefly to the young man and returned to her seat.  I was still standing; I had welcomed the opportunity to stretch my legs.  While taking my place again, I questioned: “What did he have to say about his monotonous routine?”

“He said that the sauce is full of spices; and, when I asked him ‘What spices?’ he replied that it was a secret recipe.”

Alice burst out laughing, exclaiming: “This is typical Thea stuff.  She had us thinking that she was being silly.  In fact, she went over to ask a perfectly sensible question.”

While the smoke was visibly going up the chimney, the aroma of the lamb on the spit had spread throughout the restaurant.  Thea, who had seen the progress from nearby, estimated that, within five minutes, the chef would come and start carving the outside layer with his big knife.  In fact, he appeared six minutes later followed by five servers.

The chef put a medium sized slice on a plate that already contained vegetables and sautéed potatoes.  While one server carried the completed plate to a table, the next server was ready for the next slice.  Within minutes, the skilled carver had all servers in motion; and, twelve minutes later, all those who had ordered lamb were enjoying their first slice.

At our table, we were all in awe about the exceptional flavor and tenderness of the meat.  The scene, with the boy at the spit, the carver and the rapid servers, reminded me of an evening spent in a similar manner in a village in north eastern France.  Except that time I had gone out with my buddy Raymond Monet.  He would definitely think favorably about my present company.

While we were savoring every bite, the young man in the alcove was preparing the next layer.

(To be continued)

(Continued from Jan. 04, 2010

Alice continued her narrative by explaining that, in fact, the first phase of the plan had already been devised a few weeks prior to Thea’s announcement.  She called it the preliminary stage of the scheme.  Elsie would advise the musician that he needed to make a change in his priorities.  If he could not spend two evenings a week with her, engaged in non-musical activities, she would feel compelled to discontinue their relationship.  The musician asked for time; she allowed him two weeks to lessen his workload.  On the first day of the third week, he would be obliged to have dinner with her in a classy restaurant.  During the probation period, he continued to drop hints about his supposed good progress; but, when the big day came about, there was no sign of the musician.  He had left a note in a prominent place of Elsie’s apartment.  As had been expected, he couldn’t possibly spend a whole evening without his music. That outcome determined Elsie’s availability for the next phase.

The appetizers had been served and I expressed my admiration for the wonderful dishes that Thea and Elsie had chosen.  When asked whether the tasty morsels compared favorably with the ones served in the restaurants that I had frequented in France, I could honestly answer in the affirmative.  It appeared that the French chef, who had previously created delicious tidbits in a five-star establishment, had not lowered his standards.

Thea and Elsie were exceedingly happy with the way Alice had given an account of their love experiences up to that point.  So, after I had expressed my enthusiasm for a further disclosure of details, they asked their tall friend to continue her narration—even during the consumption of appetizers.  Alice gladly complied with their request.  She was obviously a talented story teller and she enjoyed revisiting events in which she had been involved personally.

Alice resumed her account of the events by pointing out that, during the first month of her involvement with him, Thea had taken a number of somewhat revealing photographs of Bob.  They pictured him bare-chested, which highlighted his well-developed physique.  When she showed us those photos, Elsie joked: “If you ever get tired of that guy, let me know.”

The day after Elsie had rid herself of an unrelenting workaholic, Thea reminded her of the interest she had shown in Bob’s bare torso.  “This is your chance to get a man who will definitely pay attention to you.  You can take my place any time you want,” she declared.

“Suppose I say: ‘OK, let’s do it.’  How can we possibly pull it off?” Elsie wanted to know.

“It would be a lot easier than you think because of the shaky state of our relationship,” Thea replied.  “But, even if we were getting along fairly well, he would probably welcome a change.  I have the impression that Bob would be quite happy with any clean and reasonably good-looking female.  Some men are like that.”

(to be continued)

(Continued from Jan. 02, 2010)

The café turned out to be as charming as I had anticipated and the wine was as flavorful as Alice had predicted.  However, the way the girls were attired came somewhat as a surprise.  All three of them were wearing a superior quality dress.   I was glad that, just before leaving, I had exchanged my blazer for a sport jacket and my sneakers for nicely polished shoes.

On the way, in the car, somewhat overwhelmed by the mélange of perfumes, I was glad to sit back in silence while Elsie and Thea carried on with a steady stream of small talk.  It was their way of trying to overcome a certain degree of nervousness I decided.  By the time I had thought of a possible way to put them at ease, we had arrived.  The fact that Alice was able to pull her car into a narrow parking spot, in a single try, convinced me that she was as calm as ever.

When we arrived at our reserved booth, Thea quickly slid to the far side of the nearest seat and indicated that I should sit beside her.  So, Elsie moved to the far corner of the opposite bench and Alice sat down across from me.   It became clear to me later why Thea wanted that particular seating arrangement.

“Why don’t you girls go ahead and order dishes that you really enjoyed during previous visits to this restaurant,” I suggested.  “I pretty well like any kind of French cuisine.  I acquired a liking for it during my two-year stay in France.  They hadn’t been aware of that part of my past and made me promise to tell them, in the near future, about my “European adventures.”

While Thea and Elsie occupied themselves with the menu, Alice explained about their friendship.  It appeared that the girls had known each other long before Thea met Bob and there was something very special about the bond they shared with one another.  It was based on complete trust.

“Go ahead and tell him about my time with Bob and about Elsie with the other guy,” Thea urged.  Some interesting details came forth in Alice’s vivid description:

Thea had never mentioned a word about Alice and Elsie during the three months that she had dated Bob.  She had introduced him to some female acquaintances, but he was completely unaware of her special friends.   Thea had realized, soon after she had met him, that her interests and his were very dissimilar.  The fact that he was in very good physical condition and therefore could perform endlessly was attractive at first, but toward the end of their relationship, it had worn her out.  Very few were the nights during which she was able to enjoy a normal measure of sleep.

Elsie’s relationship with a classical musician occurred approximately within the same time period as Thea’s amorous bout.  Because the young fellow performed in an orchestra, for which he needed many hours of practice, and because he attempted to compose as well, his free hours were practically nonexistent.  Consequently, Elsie became very bored.   So, when Thea declared that, for the sake of her health, she needed to terminate her spell with Bob, the girls concocted a scheme.

(to be continued)

(Continued from Dec. 31, 2009)

We agreed on lunch in a small cafe for the next Saturday.  Alice would phone ahead to reserve a certain booth in a nook that would be somewhat isolated from other seating.

I drew a hearty laugh from her when I said, with a very serious look on my face, “I will only agree to that meeting if you girls promise not to wear a low décolleté.  During serious discussions, I don’t want to be distracted.”

We would use Alice’s car and pick up the other two on the way.  “As the designated driver, I won’t drink alcoholic beverages,” she asserted emphatically.  “However, you three may want to have a glass of wine with your meal.  The owner of the café, a Frenchman, usually has a barrel on tap.  People revisit his establishment because of the quality of the house wine.”

When I got back into my apartment, I sank into a comfortable chair and took a few minutes to reflect on the happenings of the past hour.  Why was a discussion about various relationships so important that it needed to take place in a special café?

The day before the rendezvous, I phoned my young friend to update him; but, immediately after, I was sorry that I had done so.  Alphonse got very excited about wanting to be included in the event.  I explained to him that whatever would be discussed may well be very private for the girls.  “The moment I mention bringing along someone, a certain trust will be broken,” I said in my effort to convince him.

Alphonse then wanted to know where the café was located.  “I can go there on my own and you can introduce me to the girls after your discussion,” he pleaded.  “I will sit at a respectable distance from you four.”

“You are right about the ‘respectable distance’ because you won’t be in the joint,” I laughed.  “To tell you the truth, I have no idea about the location of the place and I am not about to ask.  What I don’t know, I can’t divulge.  After the meeting, I’ll let you know about future possibilities for a romantic individual like you.”

It had been only two weeks since the girl whom Alphonse had been dating decided to move across the continent in order to be close to her destitute sister.  I had been present at the going-away party, which was thoroughly pleasant for most of the evening.  However, toward the end, four women and Alphonse seemed to be competing in a who-can-shed-most-tears contest.  Although I have no problem with crying men, the too-freely-emitting lachrymal glands became disheartening.  Therefore, I quickly withdrew.

Alphonse had become too attached to a very nice, but roving girl.  Before she arrived in town, she had spent two months in California.  The supposed reason for leaving the big state seemed trivial to me.  So, I had wondered about her future intentions and I was not surprised to hear about her next escape.  In her defense, it must be said that she repeatedly stated that she might not remain in “this town.”  Maybe continually moving on was her way of trying to find mister right.  I did not discuss that matter with Alphonse.

(to be continued)

(Continued from Dec. 29, 2009)

“My boyfriend does not know you and you don’t know him, right?” Alice questioned.

“That is correct,” I answered tersely.  Since I was curious, I wanted to be sure that I did not interrupt her train of thought.

“But, you know all three of us—me and his two former girlfriends.   According to Elsie you saw us together about a month ago.  We were walking on one side of the street and you on the other.  She said that you waved belatedly.”

I recalled the instance, which, at that very moment, was rendered unambiguous by Alice’s words.   During the in-the-distance encounter, the three were not walking abreast.  Alice, a few meters ahead of Thea, was staring at a shop window.  Because of foot traffic from the other direction, Elsie was pretty well directly behind Thea.  The two formers were dressed in similar but unusual garments and I wasn’t entirely sure of their identity.  However, when Elsie turned sideways and looked in my direction, I waved—as one does in such ambiguous situations.  I quickened my pace and did not look back.

“Yes, I remember seeing you together.  Why were Elsie and Thea dressed similarly?”

Alice burst into what seemed for a moment uncontrollable laughter.  After a few seconds, she said: “See, you are a nice guy.  Anybody else would have called those garments weird.  Actually, the girls had volunteered to serve at a gathering of veterans.  I went to meet them afterwards and dared them to walk along the street in that strange attire.  Of course, you were too far away to see their really low décolleté.  Anyway, it was sort of nice to give those old guys at the dinner a thrill–as the girls bent over to place the plates on the low table.”

“Was there no request for your involvement?”

“I was needed at the office.  My boss had just returned from a trip abroad and he wanted a report on some of the files.  I was sort of glad that I had a good excuse for not volunteering.  I had accompanied the girls to the hall the week preceding; and, it was obvious, that those outfits would not be suitable for tall galls like me.  Anyway, we are having an interesting conversation, but we have been drifting away from the essential point.”

“OK, I am ready to discuss any matter that you consider important.”

“We three girls want to treat you to a lunch or a dinner.  We feel that you should be aware of the relationship between us girls as well as our relationship with Bob.  We would like that to happen as soon as possible…”

(to be continued)

(Continued from Dec. 27, 2009)

I have referred to the lady, who dropped the large A & W cup with contents, as my neighbor.  In fact, she is the most recent girl friend of my neighbor.  It appears that the young man does not have a vehicle, but he seems to appeal to ladies who do.

I must admit that I did not come to that conclusion myself; a young friend of mine did after I had supplied him with some details.  My friend cried out: “The guy has a great set-up.  He owns an apartment with a magnificent view, which is more attractive, for ladies, than a car.  The latter can lose its value very quickly—even after a relatively minor accident.  The former always increases in value in the long run.”

My friend went on to explain that my neighbor would, of course, only associate with (or target when he would be looking for a new one) those ladies who have a vehicle.  Having access to a partially heated parkade in the winter time presented an asset in itself—for smart ladies.

I pointed out to my young friend that much of his comment was speculation.  However, after I had thought about it at length, I felt that my friend’s imaginative scenario definitely belonged to the realm of the probable.  I am not about to investigate the situation.  There is no harm done.  My neighbor and any of the ladies whom I have seen in his parking spot are all adults.

My neighbor’s most recent girl friend, the best-looking so far, appeared to behave a bit strangely, though.  After I had put the squashed A & W cup into the two-foot wide strip in front of “her” parking spot, she moved it (as well as an empty MacDonald’s container) into the space in front of my Buick.  I wasn’t about to make a big deal of it; so, the next time that I carried my kitchen refuse to the dumpster, I took along the tall girl’s containers.

I met her at my vehicle the next day.  She thanked me for removing the cups and she apologized for the resulting mess on the floor—which she intended to clean soon.  With a big smile on her face, Alice explained that she wanted to see my reaction.  “I have the impression that you don’t easily get upset about things,” she added.  A lengthy, very interesting, discussion ensued.

(To be continued)

(continued from Dec. 25, 2009)

Because the concrete floor of our building’s parkade has a considerable slope toward the entrance gate, the fluid could be the result of a leak in any of the cars parked higher.   So, I inspected the narrow space between my Buick and the car directly to the right of  it.   Not a trace of any fluid.

I backed out the Buick, which allowed me to view the source of the mysterious fluid.   I saw a squashed A & W cup.  Apparently, my neighbor had dropped it when descending from her vehicle and it had rolled away from her.   Later, I drove over the cup during my departure or my return.   I don’t blame her for failing to crawl under my car, but a note on my windshield would have been nice.   Eventually, someone will have to clean the rivulets of yellow, oil-resembling substance that flowed under three cars before it filled a crack.

(to be continued)

The other day, I casually swung my old Buick into my parking space.  Since I was in no particular hurry, I took my time attaching the club to the steering wheel and the brake pedal.  I also opened an envelop to inspect its contents; it had sparked my curiosity as I retrieved it from the post office box.  Consequently, several minutes had passed when I descended from my vehicle.

After I had closed the car door, my attention was immediately attracted to two small rivulets of yellow fluid.  The initial thought was that my car had developed an oil leak, which was confirmed when I touched the substance.  There appeared to be a  certain viscosity in the texture.  However, upon reflection, the cleanliness of the oil on the floor was remarkable, considering that the  oil in my car hadn’t been changed for quite some time…

(to be continued)