gova

(Continued from Feb. 25, 2010)

After his introduction to Elsie, Alphonse was ready with a clever one-liner.  It foreshadowed the lighthearted attitude that he would display while delivering a comical synopsis concerning his experience with Bob.

On the way to the parking area, Thea suggested that I ride with Alphonse for the purpose of updating him on some recent developments.  She then took hold of my left shoulder, stood on her toes and whispered into my ear: “It is appropriate that he knows, as soon as possible, that he has recently acquired a sister.”

Since Alphonse had noticed Thea’s Audi while entering the parking area, he had pulled into a nearby stall.  Elsie had parked on a different level, so we met her at the exit, where she pulled in front of the Mini to assume second position.

As soon as we were cruising on the straightaway, Alphonse wanted to know about Thea’s whispering: “Aren’t you a bit too old to get cozy with a young woman like Thea?” he joked.  “You are old enough to be her father.”

“I agree with you wholeheartedly,” I replied.  “Therefore, I am glad that she asked me to take the place of her dad, who, apparently, was pretty well my exact lookalike.  This evening will be proof positive regarding the exactness of that resemblance.  Aunt Dorothy, her dad’s sister, will see me for the first time.”

“There is no doubt that this evening’s party will be quite an event,” Alphonse said with the familiar anticipatory grin on his face.  “Will there be any other males in attendance—beside you and me?”

“I haven’t heard anything about other guests, so I am assuming that you and I will have to be at our best in regards to entertaining the ladies.”

“I think that my report on Bob will take some of the pressure away from you.  Do you want to hear some of the details now?”

“Definitely not,” I replied.  “Tonight, after a few drinks, those details will cause more merriment.  By the way, we will all be able to indulge.  Aunt Dorothy’s gardener will be on standby to take us home, if so desired.”

“Are you suggesting that we will have a choice to stay on the premises for some shuteye?” Alphonse asked as we followed the other vehicles through an impressive gate—of which the heavy steel grill closed as soon as the Mini had passed.

“I have been told that the former boardroom, where the party will be held, has a number of small bedrooms attached to it.  They will be available for our use.”

(To be continued)

(Continued from Feb. 23, 2010)

Alice phoned us from the van, which was on its way to Aunt Dorothy’s estate.  As had been expected, removing her belongings from Bob’s had been super fast.

Shortly after, Alphonse phoned me from the pub’s washroom.  He said that he and Bob had been drinking at the same table.  He clarified: “I was having a non-alcoholic beer and Bob is still working on a jug of draft.”  He then asked: “How much time is still needed for the moving process?”

“If you are enjoying your tête-à-tête with Bob, you may, of course, continue for a while longer,” I joked.  “However, all Alice’s belongings have been removed from Bob’s and she is on her way to aunt Dorothy’s, where there will be a sort of party tonight.  If you can fit it into your busy schedule, you are invited.”

“You know very well that I would cancel pretty well anything for an opportunity to meet the other girls.  So, I will say my ‘Good byes’ to Bob because I owe him that courtesy.  The fact is that I have been toying with him a bit, about which you will be getting a full report.  By the way, where is Aunt Dorothy’s estate located?”

“As a former taxi driver, you would be able to find the place fairly easily, but you will need all your energy for entertaining the ladies tonight. Therefore, your Mini can be the tail end of the motorcade.”  I then explained that Elsie would drive Alice’s automobile because the latter went to the estate in the gardener’s van.

Alphonse knew the shopping center near my apartment very well; he had met me there numerous times.  He had a habit of saying: “I’ll see you there in a few minutes;” and, usually, it meant that he would arrive within the next half hour or forty minutes.  I did not mind at all because I always carried a small notebook in the inside pocket of my jacket.  It contained vocabulary for an Asian language that I was trying to learn.  I found that memorizing difficult words was more pleasant at a place where a cosmopolitan crowd passed in front of me.  I knew that some of the strangers would be able to use those words in a very fluent manner.

Because our table at the cake shop was diagonally across from my usual seating area, Alphonse would notice us during his walk toward us. Therefore, I hadn’t mentioned to him about our somewhat different location.

I had looked at my watch when Alphonse and I had terminated our call and my estimate was that his earliest arrival would be half an hour later.  However, Thea caught sight of him after twenty-two minutes and she took pleasure in describing his approach to Elsie: “Focus on a guy, heading our way, who has the widest shoulders you have ever seen.  That is Alphonse.”  I was not surprised to see him moving toward us at an unusually swift pace.  He was highly motivated.

(To be continued)

(Continued from Feb. 21, 2010)

About ten minutes later, there was a third phone call; it was from Elsie, who had driven Alice’s car to the shopping center where Thea and I were bonding.  “Elsie will be joining us shortly.  She is a bit nervous about the ongoing business, so she needs our moral support.”

Elsie had no difficulty finding us at the designated area.  From there, we walked to a nearby cake shop, where Elsie ordered coffee and Thea and I ordered a big pot of tea.  We then spent ten minutes in choosing a slice of cake.  Thea was happy about my partiality for chocolate cake.  Her father had also been very fond of anything made with chocolate.

When we were comfortably settled in a corner of the shop, Elsie told us that Alice would go with the gardener to aunt Dorothy’s estate.  Her belongings would temporarily be stored in the four-car garage, which, because of the Audi’s departure, had a vacant spot.  While she spoke, Elsie looked nervously around the shop.  She explained her edginess: “Someone from the apartment building might see us together.”

“I don’t believe that we have to worry to such a great extent,” I assured her.  “If Alice was with us, the chances of being recognized by someone would be much greater.  As for you and Thea, very few folks would still remember you after all those months.”

Thea declared her agreement with my way of thinking: “If one gets too paranoid about situations that may possibly be dangerous, one loses a precious dimension of one’s freedom.  We should not let our fears affect our lifestyle too much.”

Elsie seemed reassured.  She went on to supply us with more details about the storage of Alice’s belongings: “When the gardener walked into the café, he was on the phone with your aunt.  She had told him to call her as soon as he had parked his vehicle.  She instructed him to tell Alice that she would personally take care of the cleanliness of the proposed area.”

We heard later that aunt Dorothy and the bodyguard had walked to the garage to inspect the space and they had decided that some improvement was needed.  So, he mopped the spot, dried it with a powerful blower and spread a large blanket all across the area.

“Aunt Dorothy is having fun,” Thea proclaimed with a chuckle.  “And, the bodyguard is glad that he could do something that is not in his job description.  He thanked my dad numerous times for advising aunt to keep him on the payroll.  He doesn’t have to worry about his job security anymore; aunt now realizes that the man is exceptionally competent.”

When I asked why Alice hadn’t considered taking her things to her father’s house, the girls informed me that the man was very controlling.  There would be all sorts of problems getting away from him again.  Therefore, Alice would try to find an apartment near her place of work.  Since her salary was substantial, she could afford a place with a secure parking spot.

(To be continued)

(Continued from Feb. 19, 2010)

Thea phoned her aunt Dorothy from the shopping center’s parking lot.  I could tell from her broad smile that her request had been well received.  When she terminated the call, Thea said: “Aunt is instructing the gardener as we speak.  She will contact me in minutes to report on the progress.”

In the mean time, Alice and Elsie were waiting for an “all clear” call from Thea.  They were in a coffee shop that was near the apartment building.  When Thea phoned them about the change in plans, only a few words were necessary to convince her friends that the revised process was better in more than one way.

While Thea was conversing with Alice, a text message from Aunt Dorothy indicated that the gardener was on his way.  He knew the whereabouts of the coffee shop; and, barring any unforeseen traffic problems, he expected to be able to join the girls within half an hour.

Alice wasn’t at all worried about the delayed starting time.  The van would easily hold all the belongings that she had at Bob’s, so a lot less time was required for the total moving process.  Also, the sturdy gardener would handily manage the bigger items with the dolly that he had brought along.

“Now that all arrangements have been made for Alice’s smooth exodus from Bob’s, you and I are going to do a bit of relaxing window shopping.  That way I will come up with an idea for the present I want to buy you.  I have never seen you with a tie on, so you don’t appear to like anything tight around your neck.”

I told her that she was right about my aversion for restrictive clothing around my neck.  Then, with a laugh, I added:  “I see people on television, engaged in such sports as golf, with the top button of their shirt done up and I say: ‘Man, loosen that collar before trying your next precision swing.’  It bothers me that apparently intelligent people play with an unnecessary disadvantage.”

“So you also have the habit of talking to the television,” A happily smiling Thea said, as she slipped her arm through mine; and, for the next half hour, we leisurely walked through the mall, looking at various shop windows.

Within seconds of one another, there were two phone calls.  Alice phoned Thea to announce that the moving process was well underway.  The gardener had brought a great variety of empty boxes, which allowed Alice to fill them haphazardly.  Consequently, he could start immediately with the carting routine.  His wife remained at the van to safeguard Alice’s belongings.

The other phone call was from Alphonse.  It was about an interesting development, which, he emphasized, did not alter the fact that he had a “tight rein” on Bob.  His enigmatic words really piqued my curiosity, but my young friend told me that he had to terminate the call.

(To be continued)

(Continued from Feb. 17, 2010)

The serious expression on her face told me that Thea was giving a lot of thought to Alice’s exodus from Bob’s apartment.  Apparently, she and the other two members of our foursome had not fully considered the possible consequences of being recognized by a meddlesome resident of the apartment building.

“Because of our discussion, I have become more aware of the necessity for perfect discretion.  In condominiums, rumors spread very fast and misinterpretations occur easily, which may lead to Bob becoming the laughing stock of the building.  If that happens, he may lose his cool, which may affect your safety.”

“How would Bob connect me to you three ladies?”

“A number of the residents have repeatedly seen me in conversation with you in the parkade.  How often were you spotted when talking to Elsie or Alice?”

“There are always a lot of people in the parkade; so, we have been seen together numerous times.  However, do you think that having frequent discussions would lead to the conclusion that I have conspired with you?”

“The lady who is fond of gossiping and starting rumors would be inclined to draw such conclusions and pass them on to Bob as facts.  She would do so to create a reason for knocking on his door.”

I had to admit that Thea’s reasoning was sound.  The chance that such a scenario would occur was small, but it was well within the realm of possibilities.  Anyway, I would happily go along with whatever she proposed.  Her serious concern for me felt really good.

“So, I have come up with an idea.  Neither Elsie nor I will help Alice with the move.  Aunt Dorothy’s gardener and his wife will help her.  He will bring the van and they will be able to take everything in one load.  Aunt has been waiting for a chance to help.  “If there is anything you need don’t hesitate to ask,” she is fond of saying.  As soon as we get to your shopping center, I’ll phone her.  And, I will go shopping with you.  Your daughter wants to buy you a modest present.”

Seconds after Thea had made her decision, I received a phone call from Alphonse.  He told me, in so many words, that he had successfully spotted Bob who was lifting weights at a certain distance from him.  “Thea didn’t exaggerate.  The guy is as ugly as his photograph suggests,” Alphonse joked.

I passed on the good news to my driver and she obviously was relieved to hear that everything was going according to plan, up to that point.

(To be continued)

(Continued from Feb. 15)

After a few more seconds of small talk, Alphonse started walking toward the health club and we got back into the Audi for the return journey.  The plan was that Thea would drop me off at a shopping center that was within walking distance of my apartment.  I had to pick up a few items there and avoiding a second sighting of her car in the neighborhood seemed wise.

Thea began the conversation by expressing her satisfaction about the “great” meeting with Alphonse.  However, she urged me to speak to him at my earliest opportunity.  “Such a nice accommodating guy deserves to be brought up to speed, as soon as possible, about the various interesting relationships that have come about recently.”

“That will happen tonight,” I assured Thea.  “I will inform him about al the details concerning our newly established kinship before I listen to the way he managed with Bob. Although, we will be kept informed by phone about Bob’s whereabouts, I will still want to know about any additional interesting details that Alphonse might have for us.”

“You said ‘us,’ which gives me an idea.  Why don’t we all get together later tonight when Alice’s whole moving episode is behind us?  We can have a drink together. I suggest that we have our meeting at aunt Dorothy’s.  She will send her gardener to pick us all up, so we won’t need a designated driver.  It will be a good chance for Alphonse to meet the other two of our foursome and for you to surprise aunt Dorothy with your appearance.  We will carry on as if nothing unusual is happening.  Her reaction will be great to behold.”

“I will be available tonight and I am pretty sure Alphonse will be as well.  I don’t think he would want to miss a chance to put his spin on the ‘meeting’ with Bob in front of all you ladies.”

Next, we had a conversation about being discreet in regards to the removal of Alice’s belongings from Bob’s apartment.   Thea and I agreed that the disguise, used when assisting Elsie with her escape, would no longer be appropriate.  An apartment resident, with a reputation of having a fondness for gossip, had seen the girls.  The woman had stared quite intently at Thea’s Muslim headscarf.   Since the elderly resident had a habit of frequenting the halls, she would in all likelihood notice Alice’s moving process.  And, she would almost certainly pay Bob a visit that night.

In addition to being on the lookout for informal dirt, the woman seemed to prefer knocking on the doors of male residents.  I had been told about that peculiarity by a longtime resident and considered it to be a rumor.  Then, about a month after the warning, the woman knocked on my door at a very inopportune time.  So, I cried out: “I am not full dressed.  What would you like?”  She said that she wanted to see the new window I had installed and she added: “I am not worried about your lack of clothing.”  I told her to go to my next-door neighbor, a lady who had the same type of window installed.

(To be continued)

(Continued from Feb, 13, 2010)

We pulled into a large parking lot behind a supermarket; it was about half a block removed from the health club.  In the far corner of the lot, I could see Alphonse’s blue Mini.   He was standing beside it, with his left hand on the hood.  At185 cm, he was at least a head taller than the sister he was about to meet; and, with his exceptionally broad shoulders he was indeed an imposing figure.

I had told Alphonse about Thea’s Audi so that he would be able to recognize her car.  As it turned out, there were no other vehicles near him so we were able to approach his humble automobile diagonally.  In the few seconds that remained before arriving in my young friend’s corner, I stated on his behalf: “Alphonse has golden hands; he does all of his own repairs.”

I noted with a mixture of pleasure and surprise that Alphonse was wearing his best sports jacket.  It was only the second time that I had seen him wear it, not counting the day that I had gone with him to buy it.  A friend of mine, who operated a men’s clothing store, had been instrumental in getting it costume fitted at a special price.  Very few of the jackets on the rack were large enough to allow enough room for Alphonse’s broad shoulders.

As she pulled her car into the space to the right of the Mini, Thea observed: “It looks like the first brother whom I am about to meet is a big guy.  Are the other two equally large?”

“My oldest son is taller, but not as wide.  The other one is about my size.”

I got out of the car quickly.  I wanted to be in the right spot for the introductions, which came off very smoothly.  As I had expected, Thea was entirely relaxed.  She addressed Alphonse as if she had known him all her life: “I was happy to hear that you were available for this unusual assignment.”  Then, as she pulled Bob’s photograph out of her purse: “Here is the guy’s mug shot; a real brute isn’t he?”

I knew that Alphonse would have liked to come up with a clever comeback, but his mind was obviously busy trying to figure out Thea’s lighthearted mannerism.   So, I quickly responded, thus giving the big guy a bit more time to find his composure.

“That brings up an interesting question: How does Bob compare in size with Alphonse?” I enquired.  “Seeing that he has been my neighbor for some time, I feel strange about not knowing.  I assume that he is fairly big because of all the weights he has lifted.”

“Bob is probably about five centimeters shorter and he doesn’t have Alphonse’s wide shoulders,” Thea replied casually.”

“That is a huge relief,” Alphonse said with a loud sigh.  “Obviously, I lost sleep for nothing last night.”  That remark drew a hearty laugh from Thea.

(To be continued)

(Continued from Feb. 11, 2010)

There was no doubt that, in the future, there would be a lot more conversation about my sons and their children.  At that moment, Thea abruptly changed the topic because she wanted to know a few more details about the young man whom she was about to meet—the lookout who would keep us informed about Bob’s whereabouts during the various time periods of the evening.  The fact that she wanted to know what manner of deportment would be most suitable, vis-à-vis Alphonse, clearly indicated that Thea was very serious about being a good daughter.

“Am I correct in assuming that you have known Alphonse for quite some time?” Thea questioned.

I told her that I had known him for more than a decade.  “He and my youngest son are best friends,” I added.

“That is good information,” Thea noted.  Next, she wanted to know how often Alphonse and I would normally have contact with one another.  I told her that “Fairly often” seemed a reasonable answer.  Since it was obvious that she wanted more specific particulars, I explained: “We email each other practically daily and meet at least once a week.”

Thea appeared satisfied about the way the discussion was going.  After a few seconds reflection, she declared:  “You visit your sons and their families for lengthy periods of time, but they don’t usually come over to visit you for an equally long stay.  Is my reasoning correct so far?” she asked with a big smile that exposed her small white teeth.

I confirmed that her observations contained no errors.  Although I had a good idea about the direction of her reasoning, I didn’t volunteer any additional details at that point.  I was curious about the way she would continue with her logic.

“So, Alphonse is pretty much like a third son to you,” se proclaimed.  It was the conclusion that I had expected from her and I told her that she had made some good deductions.  The manner in which I spoke those words expressed a certain measure of pride.  She evidently caught the connotation.

“I am glad that you are proud of your new daughter,” she said contently.  “Anyway, now that I know about your relationship with Alphonse, I will behave toward him as would a sister.  However, I will not do so in an exaggerated manner because you need to inform him first, in a tête-à-tête session, about the new developments.”

I felt totally relaxed about the meeting between Thea and Alphonse.  She had taken charge of the situation.  I didn’t have to come up with any comprehensive explanations at that point.  It was clear to me that Thea was much more mature, in matters of the heart, than he was.  I was in the privileged position of being a spectator, looking forward to an interesting spectacle.

(To be continued)

(Continued from Feb. 09, 2010)

For me, there was no feeling of wonder or astonishment about my appearance in Thea’s dream.  In fact, I was surprised that it had taken me so long, considering the apparent close resemblance to her late father.  From the moment that she had told me about that uncanny likeness, I began to recall conversations in the parkade.  Occasionally, she would look at me strangely and she would be inclined to prolong discussions.  At that time, her behavior puzzled me.  Of course, for her it was somewhat like spending time with the dad she missed terribly.

Because a couple of days had passed since our get-together in the French restaurant, I had been able to consider Thea’s feelings toward me; and, consequently, I was expecting overtures on her part to consolidate our relationship.  Often, one doesn’t get sufficient time to think carefully about a decision that will affect one’s future in a profound fashion.  In that instance, I did not really need much time.  It became quickly clear to me that considering her my daughter would be a positive move.

My two descendants were both of the masculine gender and my relationship with them had always been excellent; but, at times, I had wondered what it would be like to have a daughter.  I was on the threshold of discovering the special privileges of that experience.  I must admit that the thought filled me with strong emotions.

“Being able to regard you as my daughter would be a great honor,” I said, slowly articulating each word of the pronouncement.  Fortunately, we were at a location where Thea could pull off the road.  She became very emotional; and, when her Audi had come to a halt, she embraced me at length.  She then thanked me numerous times and kissed me on the cheek repeatedly.  The situation demanded that I answer in kind.

As soon as we were back on the road, I phoned Alphonse to inform him that we would be a few minutes late.  Next, I set to explaining to Thea that I should be thanking her for granting me the opportunity to have an entirely new paternal experience.  I then clarified about my two sons who lived overseas.  That clarification increased her joy.  “I have never known what it would be like to have brothers,” she exclaimed and she fell silent to contemplate the possible consequences of that circumstance.

“And, there are more astounding details,” I said with a laugh.  “There will be occasions when small human creatures will refer to you as aunty Thea.”

“You are telling me that you have grandchildren as well,” Thea cried out.  “I hadn’t expected such an interesting development.  Since we never heard the noises that one associates with children, the girls and I thought that you might not have any grandchildren.  Of course, the fact that they live overseas explains the absence of the pitter-patter of small feet, etc.  Furthermore, your lengthy vacations make sense now.   Anyway, we didn’t want to ask in case you felt bad about not having grandchildren.”

(To be continued)

(Continued from Feb. 07, 2010)

When I arrived at our meeting place, Thea was already waiting for me in her Audi.  She had explained about the classy car in the restaurant.  An elderly aunt, who no longer wanted to drive, had given it to her.  The only condition was that Thea had to promise the aunt that she would go shopping with her once a week.

“I made that promise without the slightest hesitation,” Thea said while she flashed a big smile.  “Since my dad passed away, Aunt Dorothy is my favorite relative.  She is my father’s older sister and she is very considerate.  Because of her age, one would expect her to be set in her ways, but she is more flexible than a lot of young people I know.  ‘My shopping adventure can take place any day during the week,’ Aunt is fond of saying.  ‘Just let me know one day in advance.’  She told me that she starts getting ready hours prior to my arrival in order to avoid any kind of stress.  You see, she is a wise lady as well.  Apparently, several of her lady friends make themselves sick because they don’t allow enough time to prepare for outings.  Aunt pointed out that many older people haven’t accepted the fact that their movement is much slower than it used to be.”

Thea had gone into details concerning her aunt because, sometime in the future, she wanted me to meet the old lady.  “I am not sure whether I should prepare her for that meeting or not,” Thea said thoughtfully.  “I t would be a nice surprise for her to meet a man who resembles her late brother that much; but, as I told you before, she does like to avoid stress.”

On the opposite side of the table, Alice and Elsie were still talking about a problem that had occurred at the latter’s workplace.  Since I had not paid attention to the beginning of that conversation, I preferred listening to the young lady beside me.  I was eager to hear more about Thea’s favorite relative.

“Aunt Dorothy is a very rich lady,” Thea continued.  “Her late husband left her everything he owned.  She lives on a huge estate.  Just like in the movies, there are a number of buildings scattered all over the extensive acreage.  There is a gardener’s cottage as well as living quarters for a body guard.  When her husband passed away, aunt concluded that she no longer needed the guard, but dad explained that, because of circumstances, there was, in fact, a greater need for constant protection.”

On our way to meet Alphonse, Thea told me about an interesting dream that had brightened her morning.  She said that among a succession of unrelated images, there was one very clear episode.  “Papa walked up to me, kissed me on the cheek and announced: ‘There is someone I want to meet you.’ From a considerable distance, a man began to approach.  When he came closer, I recognized him.”  She then took her eyes off the road to look at me, saying softly: “you were that man.”

Thea’s father explained to her that he would pass away soon, but that his friend would take his place and regard her as his daughter.  “I woke up crying,” she whispered.  “But, minutes after, I was happy because I had already met you in real life.”

(To be continued)

(Continued from Feb. 05, 2010)

Since Alphonse’s assistance had been arranged and the removal of Alice’s belongings from Bob’s apartment had been sufficiently well organized, it was time to relax and enjoy our meal.  About twenty minutes previously, a waitress had come to our table and had asked whether we would be in favor of having an early dinner.  The chef was expecting a crowd that night, so he wanted to start cooking earlier than usual.  All four of us were in favor since we all had a few things to take care off before the day had totally elapsed.

Again, the food was remarkably delicious; but, although we didn’t rush, we ate fairly quickly.  There was one big difference; we felt that we had definitely consumed our ration of alcohol for that day.  Therefore, we ordered two large bottles of sparkling water.

As soon as I arrived home, I rang Alphonse.  Since he was such an exceptionally accommodating person, he had waited long enough for details concerning what had already happened and what was about to take place.  Of course, he was highly excited about the scheme.  It wasn’t difficult to conjecture about the reasons for his elation.  For one, he was inclined to be adventurous.  Furthermore, he wanted to be in contact with the girls as quickly as possible.  I realized that I might have to urge my young friend to move slowly and to subdue his enthusiasm somewhat.

I would point out to Alphonse that, because there were three single ladies, who had a habit of discussing intimate details between them, making advances toward one of them before meeting the other two, would be like buying the first vehicle shown at an auto market.  I would advise him to expose all three to his good qualities, thereby creating the possibility that at least one of them would become enamored of him.  In order to achieve such a situation, there needed to be a slow process of introductions and exposure to one another in the right environment.

Alphonse would meet Thea first since she would provide him with the health club coupon and a photograph of Bob.   It had been decided that she would pick me up about a block away from the apartment building and that we would go together to meet Alphonse at a predetermined place.  I was happy about that arrangement for I would be able to look after proper introductions.  Furthermore, I would be able to monitor Alphonse’s conduct.  I was glad that I would be in a position to preserve his chances for possible future happiness.

The casual reader may well observe that my attempt to guide Alphonse would perhaps be opposed vehemently by my young friend.  Such an observation would be far from the truth.  After his disastrous relationship with the roving lass, I told him about a number of clear indications that had pointed to her precipitous disappearance.  “My interference, in that instance, had not been called for,” I asserted.

Alphonse’s reaction was: “Please, give me the benefit of your advice next time!”

(To be continued)

(Continued from Feb. 03, 2010)

While the girls discussed the details of a super-quick exit from Bob’s apartment, I phoned Alphonse.  Since he had been a cabbie for a spell of time, he would most likely know the location of both the health club and the pub.

Alphonse must have been waiting for my call, judging by the fact that we were connected immediately after the first ring.  Furthermore, his words indicated an eagerness to speak to me: “I have been waiting for you to contact me all afternoon.  I guess you didn’t go straight home after your lunch with the girls.”

“We are still in the restaurant,” I said, slowly emphasizing each word.  I then fell silent, giving him an opportunity to imagine the circumstances of our situation.  I had noticed shortly after we became acquainted that Alphonse never waited very long for an explanation.  Within seconds, he would put forth his own spin on what might be happening.  I was curious about his interpretation of the lengthy get-together.  I did not have to wait long.

“Did you get into an accident prior to arriving at the restaurant?  That would delay the commencement of lunch.  Reporting an accident—even a minor bender—is a lengthy process.  Or, perhaps, you are having trouble getting out of the parking lot because of a flat tire or engine trouble.  Anyway, whatever the problem, I can help.  As you know, I used to be a cabbie.”

A psychologist friend of mine, to whom I had told about Alphonse’s interesting habit, explained: “your young friend is totally aware of his idiosyncrasy.  He does it with you because you allow him the space in time to ramble on.  The moment you interrupt him, he will apologize and never do it again or ask your permission to do so.”

“So, what is his reason for rambling on?” I enquired.

“Alphonse is expecting a favorable or fascinating response from you.  He enjoys the anticipation to such possibly stimulating news almost as much as the actual report.  So, by imagining vocally what may be happening, he delays your probably captivating account.”

I could have given Alphonse the opportunity to imagine a different scenario by saying: “That is not what happened.  What is your next guess?”  However, the girls were obviously anxious to know whether their lookout would be available.

“We don’t need your help today,” I told him.  “However, we need someone for Friday late afternoon and I told the girls that you would probably have time.  Was I correct in saying that?”

As I had expected, he answered in the affirmative.  I imagine that he would have cancelled almost any activity if necessary.  Also, he was familiar with the locations of the gym as well as the pub.  I then told Alphonse that I would contact him later, thus giving him the opportunity to assume all sorts of interesting scenarios.

(To be continued)

(Continued from Feb. 01, 2010)

“It is obvious that Bob does not respond well to attempts to alter his self-destructive ways,” I said to Alice.  “There is little else that you can do and your decision to get away from him is obviously a wise one.”

“Perhaps, there is one more thing I can do for him,” Alice observed.  “After I have moved out of his apartment, I can write him a comprehensive letter in which I implore him to seek professional help for his alcoholism.  I have heard from an uncle, who managed to become a totally sober individual, that treatment includes instruction concerning improvement in other phases of one’s life.”

“That brings us to the brainstorming session regarding your exit from Bob’s world,” Thea asserted.  “This time, we don’t have another lady in queue for him.  That could make the execution of the plan a bit trickier.”

“I am assuming that Bob’s workout routine is on non-hockey days,” I said thoughtfully.  “Has he mentioned when he intends to have his next session?”

“He plans on going this coming Friday,” Alice answered.  “He has mentioned that day several times because there will be another draft sale at the pub.  So, he will be away from his apartment for several hours.”

“That will probably work out well,” I noted.  “I have a young friend who usually does not work on Friday evenings.   I will be able to send him to observe Bob from a certain distance.   He will be able to keep in touch with you girls by telephone.  I mean, in case some unusual event threatens to shorten Bob’s routine.  Obviously, as the neighbor whom he’ll meet sometime in the future, I cannot be the lookout myself.”

“That sounds like a perfect plan,” Elsie uttered with a sigh.  Both Alice and Thea nodded in agreement and the latter proposed: “To make things easy for your friend, I will go to the health club tomorrow night and get a one-session coupon for him.”

“Alphonse won’t have a problem with getting a coupon himself,” I objected.

“Ah, you don’t know the system at that gym,” Alice asserted.  “Thea will pay half of what Alphonse would pay.  There is a shortage of female members there; so, girls get free coupons and pay half for a male coupon.  The gym’s reasoning is that the girlfriend will join if the guy joins.”

“It is best if I do this,” Thea pointed out.  “Some staff members at the gym have seen Alice with Bob, but they have never seen me.”

(To be continued)

(Continued from Jan. 30, 2010)

“Concerning the matter of observing interesting trees, shrubs or plants, were you able to get a definite indication from Bob that he would enjoy doing that with you?” I asked.  “In budding relationships, one would normally expect an extraordinary willingness to please the potential partner.”

“Regretfully, there was no such definite reply,” Alice answered.  “He asked whether I would be willing to give him some time to rearrange his leisure activities.  ‘That way I will gradually get used to a routine that will be good for both of us,’ he reasoned.  ‘In the mean time, we can see whether we are compatible when it comes to satisfying each other’s physical needs,’ he added with a chuckle.  Obviously, his proposition was a great example of avoiding commitment, but I went along with it.”

“I am assuming that Bob made no attempt to change his daily routine,” I commented.  “His ego led him to assume that his great performance during frequent cuddling sessions solved all problems.  Did you try to clarify, in some way, that much more was needed to achieve a sound relationship?”

“I did indeed,” Alice responded.  “I made exploring nature a sort of test case.  I reasoned: ‘If he doesn’t want to spend considerable time in pursuing an activity that, along the river, had rendered him excited– at least temporarily, flexibility in other areas would be pretty well impossible to get.’  I think that is solid reasoning,” she said in conclusion.  She then stopped and her glance at me requested my opinion.

“I agree with you completely,” I asserted.  “But, just to satisfy my curiosity, I would like to know whether you ever returned to the river trail.  If so, how many times did you revisit that interesting place?”

“That happened only once,” Alice replied.  She then explained: “Bob had gone for his usual workout and I met him at the gym.  I came straight from work.  It was a beautiful late-afternoon and I was looking forward to a lengthy walk—way beyond the point where we had gone the previous time.  However, we didn’t even get that far.  After, about ten minutes, he started complaining about his thirst.  Of course, he was talking about a craving for alcoholic beverages, for there was no shortage of liquid.  A sudden brainwave had provided me with the foresight of bringing four bottles of cold Perrier.  I had chosen that particular brand because, at home, he had got into the habit of drinking one of those in between his bottles of beer.  He said that it improved his performance in the hay.”

“So how much time had passed before you ended up in the pub?” I wanted to know.

“It was exactly twenty-five minutes and you will be amused to learn that jugs of draft were on sale again.  In fact, visiting that pub after his workout had become a customary routine for him.  So, he was aware of the draft sale and had scheduled our so-called nature exposure day to coincide with that sale of beer.”

“It is obvious that the guy is an alcoholic,” I observed.  “At this point, there are no serious repercussions because his steady job limits his drinking time.  Also, he works out consistently; but, without professional help, his future will be difficult.”

(To be continued)