gova

(Continued from April 18, 2010)

Aunt Dorothy had been able to schedule the dance and gymnastics group on very short notice because she had promised them a substantial sum of money.  While he and Alphonse were carrying one of the heavy oak tables, the buoyant leader of the group told my young friend: “We have never before been compensated so generously for one of our performances.”

After the performance, Aunt Dorothy was very happy about the “splendid display of skills.”  She was also pleased that she had been able to give the monetary support directly to the group.  She explained that, in the past, she had donated large sums of money to arts organizations, which had promised to pass on most of the money to needy artists.  When her accountant had investigated, in minute detail, where the money had gone, he discovered that most had disappeared into the pockets of the managers.

The eventful day and evening had come to an end and a restful night beckoned.  All of us decided to remain on the estate.  Thea told me that she had her own bedroom in the main house and that she could easily arrange for me to stay there as well.

“That will be for a future occasion,” I responded.  I then added jokingly: “Alphonse would be alone with Alice and Elsie; therefore, I volunteer to be chaperone for the night.”

You are making a valid point,” my daughter observed.  “Aunt Dorothy will be pleased with that arrangement.  Your thoughtfulness will make a very favorable impression on her.”  Thereupon, she kissed me on the cheek, waved at her friends and her brother and joined aunt Dorothy who was waiting for her at the exit door.

The cook and the young server also remained on the premises.  The girl would overnight at the gardener’s and the chef would stay at the guard’s place.  In the morning, the two would present the guests with a “special breakfast.”

The small bedrooms that were attached to the boardroom were completely self-contained.   In the washroom, items pertaining to hygiene were neatly arranged on the marble-topped vanity.  Alphonse noted later that the shower door slid so smoothly that a feather could move it.  Stuck or mal-functioning doors had frequently annoyed him in hotel rooms.

When I chose the bedroom that was second from the end, Alphonse automatically moved into the end one.  “This is a good arrangement,” he told me after the girls had gone into their individual compartments.  “With my room adjacent to one of the girls, I would probably interpret any kind of noise as a knocking on the wall to get my attention.  That would affect my much needed slumber.”

(To be continued)

(Continued from April 15, 2010)

Of course, aunt Dorothy duly approached Alphonse regarding the temporary bodyguard position.  Having previously struggled with an obnoxious fellow, who every day managed to create new problems, aunt immediately realized that my young friend was a godsend.

Alphonse accepted readily; he instantly became aware of the fact that his day had gone from very good to marvelous.  The demonstration with Sophia had been set for a week later.  That had seemed like a long time to my young friend.  “I would prefer to get my hands on another robot much sooner,” he had whispered to me a few minutes before the gardener brought the news.

Alphonse’s duties, as the temporary bodyguard, would include becoming familiar with robot Sam.  “Tomorrow, after perusing a list of duties, you can play with the robot in the yard,” aunt Dorothy said with a laugh.  “Familiarizing yourself with that little gadget as soon as possible is very important.”

I had a feeling that Alphonse would make the contraption move at top speed within a short period of time.  It was a talent that my young friend had displayed on numerous occasions, well before he got his hands on the Sophia remote.

The change that had taken place in aunt Dorothy’s demeanor was remarkable.  Immediately after she had received the disturbing news from the gardener, the expression on her face was one of deep concern.  However, as the idea of Alphonse as the bodyguard came to her mind, her features relaxed noticeably.  And, when my young friend enthusiastically jumped at the opportunity to become a temporary bodyguard, aunt became the normal wanting-to-please individual again.

She stood up and announced that the entertainment portion of the evening was about to begin.  In her introduction, she explained: “About tree weeks ago. I had the opportunity to view the group that you are about to see.  In my opinion, the members show the same potential as did those of Cirque du Soleil at the beginning of their amazing rise to fame.”

Alphonse and some sturdy young fellows of the dance and gymnastics group moved two of the three heavy oak tables to the back.  Apparently, the remaining one would become part of their program.

The gymnasts performed remarkably well.  They flawlessly displayed a series of spectacular contortions.  Their final act, the formation of a human tower on top of the oak table, made Alphonse assert admiringly: “My body could never be conditioned into that kind of flexibility.”

(To be continued)

(Continued from March 29, 2010)

Concerning the use of his cell phone, Alphonse clarified: “Not only is the cost substantial when one is a frequent chatterbox; but, often, time can be spent much more profitably.  In many instances, a face-to-face conversation is more effective as well as more enjoyable.  Anyway, in the case of Bob, circumstances prohibit a future friendship.  That suits me well because he and I have little in common.”

Alice had changed her cell phone number immediately upon getting word that Alphonse had the guzzler in his sight.  Apparently, her predecessors had also cut telephonic communications before he had been aware of their total disappearance out of his life.  One would think that, after three similar scenarios, he might well suspect a conspiracy of sorts.

Seconds after my mental review of Bob’s elimination from the world of my coconspirators, the gardener came to inform aunt Dorothy that the Bodyguard had become ill and that an ambulance had been called.

There was no discussion about the seriousness of the illness.  Aunt Dorothy remarked: “The fact that he went along with the calling of an ambulance is enough proof for me that the emergency ward is the place for him to be.”

Immediately a range of issues came to the foreground, the most important of which was that a replacement for the guard had to be found on short notice.  Thea, beside whom I was standing at the bar, informed me that the man who had filled in, on a previous occasion, turned out to be more of a problem than an asset.

When I saw Aunt Dorothy looking intently at Alphonse for a prolonged spell of time, I could imagine her thought process.  So, I said to Thea: “I think that your aunt has gained a very favorable impression of your brother and I would be very surprised if, at this very moment, she is not considering proposing that he become the temporary substitute for the body guard.”

“I think you are basing your surmise on her lengthy glance toward him.  I also caught that and I am virtually sure that she will make the proposition.  Alphonse has the physique as well as the quickness of mind.  It was fabulous to see him operate that salad bar so smoothly without any previous practice.”

“I imagine that there is a file, somewhere on these premises, which sets out in detail the duties of a bodyguard.”

“There is and it is locked away in aunt’s vault.  And, it just occurred to me that Alphonse would be able to do his first salad bar demonstration and function as the bodyguard at the same time.  I mean aunt and he will be together.”

(To be continued)

(Continued from March 27, 2010)

Dessert had been served.  In addition to the chocolate mousse, there were some delicious-looking cakes and tarts.  There were also various kinds of fruit.

While we consumed the goodies, a conversation ensued about the possibility of a budding romance between Bob and the waitress.  Elsie remarked: “If those two start dating, the letter that Alice left on his kitchen table will have been written in vain.  He will be driven into alcoholism even more.”

“First of all, I don’t think the waitress will be interested in a habitual guzzler,” Alice responded.  “Alphonse was having a bit of rather innocent fun at Bob’s expense; but, my assessment of the server is favorable.  She strikes me as fairly well educated, a girl who is making extremely good money in a part-time job.  With her good looks, she most certainly gets generous tips.”

“I plead guilty to Alice’s claim that I was having some fun at Bob’s expense.  Furthermore, I agree with her evaluation of the waitress.  I judged her to be a college student with a major in psychology.  And, having done a bit of beer slinging myself, I know that gratuities can be considerable.”

Aunt Dorothy came to my young friend’s defense: “From the details that I have been able to gather regarding the man to whom you refer as the guzzler, I would say that he had set himself up for the treatment he received from Alphonse.  In fact, if the experience lowers the opinion he has of himself by a notch or two, it will be beneficial for him in the long run.  And, although I have never laid eyes upon the waitress, two concurring opinions suggest that she probably is either a college student or a graduate trying to pay down her student loans.  If she is indeed a psychology major, she will know that reforming an alcoholic is a real uphill battle.”

Since no one appeared interested in expressing any further thoughts about Bob, I asked my young friend about his exit from the pub.  I was interested in the dialogue that preceded Alphonse’s departure.

“After calling you from the washroom, I went back to the table and announced that I had to go on my way.  Bob asked whether he would see me again soon at the health club.  I said: ‘I noticed that the managers were having a discussion while they were looking in my direction.  So, I may give them a call, requesting free use of their facilities.’  I didn’t have to explain to Bob that I would be an asset for that gym.  Folks would wander over and ask me questions pertaining to proper body building.”

“When he requested my phone number, I told Bob: ‘I am cutting down on the use of my cell phone; I can’t afford the cost right now.’  So, he gave me his e-mail address.”

(To be continued)

(Continued from March 25, 2010)

“I am considering your remark to be a compliment,” Alphonse said with a smile.  “You couldn’t possibly mean that I make a habit of frightening folks, even though I did manage to give Bob a scare in the Mini.”

“You couldn’t have foreseen that Bob would react the way he did,” Alice responded.  “It is not normal.  And, yes, I did indeed want to give you a compliment.  You have put a lot of time and effort into building your body.”

Thea apparently didn’t think that a kibitzing session between Alice and her adopted brother was a good idea at that time.  She was enormously curious about the dialogue that had transpired between the two men.  So, she urged: “Tell us about the conversation that took place between you and Bob in the pub.”

“I asked Bob why the waitress had accommodated him to the extent of creating a spot for him.  I couldn’t help adding: ‘I get the impression that there is chemistry between you two.’  My remark obviously took him by surprise.”

“When he objected: ‘I have a girl waiting for me at home,’ he handed me an opportunity to commence a really interesting dialogue.  I told him that if he was two-timing with the waitress, he could let me in on the secret.”

“He assured me repeatedly that he had not given any thought to becoming romantically involved with the waitress.  So, I responded: ‘I think that she has given the matter some consideration.’  My remark made him look in the direction of the girl.  She noticed his glance and smiled at him.”

“I then asked Bob: ‘The girl who is waiting at home for you, has she ever complained about your habit of visiting the pub after a work-out?’  He admitted that there was some bad blood about that routine, which made me assert: ‘If the relationship ends because of your fondness for beer, you have a girl here in the pub.’  I then pointed out that the absence of a ring on her finger probably meant that she was available.”

Thea assumed her sister role and questioned: “Did you really think that there is chemistry between Bob and the waitress?”

“One can never be sure in a pub environment,” Alphonse replied.  “She is evidently interested in him from a commercial point of view; but, I thought that I could see a few sparks fly.”

That last remark made aunt Dorothy proclaim, with a big smile: “I think you have been a naughty boy.”

(To be continued)

(Continued from March 23, 2010)

“Of course, one never knows what the future holds for us, but slim are the chances that I will invite Bob into my Mini for a real ride.  Actually, he had little time to worry about any fright that my cornering might have given him.  The action that had developed in the alley was much more fearful.  From the pub’s vantage point, the other side of a huge dumpster was visible.  In front of that container, two young men were confronting one another with knives.”

“Did you run into the pub to get away from that horrible scene,” Thea asked.

“We did after I had shown Bob what good citizens normally do in such instances.   Although it must be said that remedial measures involved little of my time.  As is frequently the case around pubs, a police car was parked across the street.  From there, the officers could not see the fight.  So, I simply alerted them.  They seemed glad to get a chance to earn their pay.”

Alphonse had a way of making trivial incidents seem extraordinarily interesting.  All the ladies seemed fascinated by his narration as they sipped their liqueur; however, aunt Dorothy seemed especially drawn in by his talent.  It appeared to me that she had discovered what I had known all along–Alphonse would make a great salesman.

His demonstrations of Sophia’s capabilities would be the beginning of a great career.  Being in a position to learn engrossing details about various kinds of robots would be irresistibly attractive for my young friend and he would be able to convey that fascination to potential clients.

“Did anything out of the ordinary take place in the pub?” Elsie asked.

“I came to the conclusion that Bob has become an important persona in there.”

“What happened,” I asked, somewhat unable to control my curiosity.

“Bob wanted to sit in a certain spot, but other clients had already occupied the table there.  I could see that our would-be bodybuilder was reluctant to sit elsewhere and a certain waitress had also taken notice.  So, she persuaded guzzlers at three nearby tables to move over a bit in order to create room for a small two-persons’ table.   Although there were several empty tables in other areas of the pub, none of the patrons objected.”

“We can easily guess why no one took exception to being disturbed,” Alice said while she burst into a bout of laughter.  “With your imposing frame towering above them, the seated clients did not dare to make a fuss.  Saying anything that could be misconstrued would seem a risky move.”

(To be continued)

(Continued from March 21, 2010)

The monetary compensation that aunt Dorothy mentioned was so substantial that Alphonse was visibly astonished.  He uttered: “Never before have I been offered such a hefty sum for my services.  So, of course, I accept the job.”

The timing for the temporary employment could not have been better.  Alphonse had recently quit a position in a company where there was too much friction between workers.  He had asked my opinion about a decision that he needed to make.  My advice was: “If it happens, more than once week, that you get home at night as frustrated as you are now, it is time to put in your resignation.  Your health is a lot more important than the money they pay you.  If you need a loan to see you through to the next job, you know on whose door to knock.”

While aunt Dorothy and Alphonse discussed details about the job and the giggling girls were unsuccessfully trying to attain my young friend’s adroitness with the bar’s remote, my thoughts reverted to the scene with robot Sam.

From a practical point of view, Sam definitely outdid Sophia, the salad bar.  However, the mirth that had been created around the dinner table indicated that gadgets have many different uses and purposes.  It occurred to me that catering outfits could entertain a dinner crowd with a Sophia-like contraption.  I decided to mention the possibly new line of clients to my new daughter’s aunt.

Since we had all filled our bellies to capacity, we decided that some digestion was necessary before a special dessert would be fully appreciated.  The food server told us, with a big smile: “That is good news for the chef; he needs a bit more time to prepare his version of chocolate mousse as well as other goodies.”  So, Alphonse was urged to continue his tale about time spent with Bob.

Highly elated, because of the new job, Alphonse was ready to put his spin on the story: “When we arrived on the street, Bob pointed at an alley and said: ‘I usually walk to the pub through there.’  Since there were a number of unsavory-looking characters halfway down the alley, I advised him to accept a ride in my Mini.  After a few seconds of hesitation, he acquiesced.”

“During the short ride around the block, I noticed that the knuckles of Bob’s right hand turned white due to his extremely tight grip on the support.  I must admit that I took the corners a bit wildly, but a young fellow should enjoy an invigorating ride.”

“Never again will he get into your car,” Alice asserted.  “The guy with whom he catches a ride to work is the only person he trusts.  Bob has trained him to drive very slowly and carefully.”

(To be continued)

(Continued from March 19, 2010)

The food server had removed the soup bowls and reset the table so unobtrusively that it hadn’t interfered at all with Alphonse’s narration, but my young friend sensed that aunt Dorothy was about to make an announcement concerning the next dish.

“This chef’s chicken fettuccini creation is the most delectable that I have ever tasted and it probably is the most decadent as well.  However, you, young people, don’t have to worry about the extreme richness and I have my way of neutralizing the excessive calorie intake.”

Thea also praised the chef’s talent: “He has a way of bringing about a dish that has the familiar flavors, but it also contains a unique entity that increases the intensity of one’s sensory impression.  It is undoubtedly the combination of spices that he employs.  Anyway, this dish is only available here; it is not on the menu in the boutique hotel where he frequently plies his trade.  So, enjoy a unique experience.”

By means of the double-decked cart, the server brought six plates with steaming contents and, for second helpings, a large bowl filled to the brim.  Alphonse’s plate contained a double portion, which had disappeared before the other single amounts had been consumed.  Everyone had second and third helpings “in order to fully appreciate” the unique flavor that Thea had described so neatly.

In the mean time, a low-level salad bar came rolling toward the table; it was loaded with a tremendous variety of uncooked ingredients for creating a run-of-the-mill or a not-so-common salad.  Bottles, containing a dozen different vinaigrettes or seasonings, were securely held in a special series of compartments.  The server brought a remote so that the guests could wheel the bar around the table and serve themselves without getting up.

Because he had created his salad while the others were still eating pasta, Alphonse had quickly become familiar with the various settings of the remote and the ladies were quite happy being served by my young friend.

Attached to a lever, each container or bottle could be maneuvered in front of the individual who was in the process of piecing together a salad.  Consequently, there was no need for turning around or reaching.  One can easily imagine the laughter that resulted as the semi-tipsy ladies, one by one, made their creation.

“If our clients could see how easily the various components of the bar can be manipulated, orders would double,” aunt Dorothy proclaimed.  “Young man can I persuade you to attend the next board meeting in order to demonstrate, in front of other board members, the correct way of operating this salad bar?”

(To be continued)

(Continued from March 17, 2010)

“Thea told me about the lengthy letter that you left on Bob’s kitchen table,” aunt Dorothy remarked.  “That is a nice gesture.  Since you have given him specific reasons for the failed relationship, he may be able to avoid future disappointments.”

“I felt that it was my duty to implore him to seek help for his alcoholism and other related issues.  However, I am afraid that he will ignore my request.”

A silence of a few seconds ensued and I could tell that Alphonse was wondering whether more discussion of Bob’s problems was about to take place or whether the ladies were waiting for him to continue with his narration.  Thea clarified the situation for him: “What was the sequence of events in the gym after you two men had exchanged your initial words?” she asked.

“Bob stayed by my side while I finished my routine, which took about ten minutes.  I appreciated the fact that he didn’t say anything during my exertion.  As I gathered my things, he said casually: ‘I’ll see you in the changing room.’  Since he had to go back to get his stuff, I got into the locker room a bit ahead of him.  That allowed me to update you folks.”

“The shower facilities in that health club are probably not the same as the ones in the army,” I said.  “I mean such modern places have individual shower cubicles, isn’t that so?”

“Yes, and I was fully dressed when I stepped out of my stall.  I didn’t want to intimidate him with my naked torso,” Alphonse joked.  “I am not one of those guys who like to walk around in their briefs and pose in front of the mirror.”

“Did Bob strike a few poses in front of the mirror?” Elsie asked.

“No, but I think he would have if he had been in the room with a smaller guy.”

“What happened next?” Alice questioned.

“He told me about a draft sale ‘in a nearby pub.’  He then asked me if I would allow him to buy me a drink; and, it seemed to me that my immediate affirmative response took him by surprise.  Obviously, I made a point of being casual about going along with his request.”

“Next, I pointed out that I would be driving and, therefore, wouldn’t be able to partake in the draft beer.  He replied that he could easily handle a jug of the draft by himself and he suggested that I could possibly have a non-alcoholic brew.”

(To be continued)

(Continued from March 15, 2010)

After a moderate quantity of champagne and wine, Alphonse’s tongue was at its nimblest.  So, in answer to aunt’s joke, he quipped lengthily: “There was no introduction and he failed to show proper respect for my elaborate demonstration.  Bob then lowered himself to becoming part of a long list of preceding inquirers; they all ask the same question: ‘How many years have you been working out?’  And, I always give them the same discouraging answer.”  After those words, my young friend set to spooning down the remainder of his minestrone.

“I am curious about that ‘discouraging answer’ to you admirers,” Elsie remarked.  “Please tell us more.”

“I tell them that I have been at it for ten years; and, sometimes, when I feel sorry for them after witnessing their crestfallen state of mind, I elaborate.  I explain to them that many so-called instructors promise body improvements that are not realistic.  I was born with a heavyweight frame, which allowed me to already look impressive after putting on a few pounds of muscle.  Guys with a lightweight frame need a lot more pounds to have the same impressive appearance.”

“Did you give Bob a more elaborate explanation?” Alice wanted to know.

“No, I don’t consider him a serious bodybuilder.  Anybody who consistently replaces liquid, lost trough exercising, with gallons of beer is just deceiving himself.”

At that point in time, Alphonse told me later, he had decided to eat large portions and drink very small quantities of alcoholic beverages for the remainder of the evening.  He said that he did not want to say something that he might regret later.  When he revealed the reason for that decision, I had to admit that it was a wise move.

It had occurred to Alphonse that neither he nor I knew to what extent aunt Dorothy was familiar with the complete story regarding Bob.  Did she know that al three of the girls had been involved with the guy?  The fact that Alice had asked my young friend, in front of aunt Dorothy, to talk about his contact with and his observation of my neighbor did not give us much insight concerning aunt’s knowledge about him.

“What did Bob say after you dropped the ‘ten years’ shocker?” Alice asked.

“He sort of snickered and said: ‘Then I’ll have lots of time ahead of me to get to your condition.’  And, I got the impression that Bob really believed that.”

“He is deceiving himself about several issues,” Alice then observed.

(To be continued)

(Continued from March 13, 2010)

“Evidently, the vintage from this bottle has the anticipated flavor,” Thea stated.  “It brings a smile to your face; and, I imagine, it also brings back a number of goodtime memories.”

I told her that she was right on both counts, which prompted her to fill some of the other glasses.  I foresaw her intention; so, I emptied my glass to be ready for the tasting process of the next bottle.

During the pouring of the wine, the server waited just outside the kitchen entrance for a signal from aunt Dorothy, which she received the moment the last glass had been filled.  Two minutes later the girl arrived with a two-level cart; there were three bowls of minestrone on each level.  Apparently, aunt had brought in an Italian chef for the occasion.

Since the soup was hot, we had to spoon carefully.  Alphonse simply waited for it to cool down; I knew that he preferred to eat quickly.  His temporary idleness gave Alice the idea that he could possibly commence the narration of his experience with Bob and she didn’t hesitate to make the request.

Alphonse had been waiting for the opportunity to tell his story, which I knew was interesting in its divergence from the anticipated development.  So, I was happy that my young friend moved right into the thick of the action.

“I was lifting my weights at a certain distance from Bob and I could see from the corner of my eye that he glanced at me occasionally.  I was not surprised by his interest in my efforts; I usually draw the attention of novice bodybuilders.  Since I have worked with equipment for more than a decade and have been taught by a good instructor to do so correctly, I can safely start with what would be the maximum for guys like Bob.”

“I can almost visualize Bob’s amazement as you kept on adding more weights,” Alice uttered as she burst into her familiar contagious laughter.

“He was so fascinated by what I was doing that he stopped his own routine; and, when I took a breather from my exertion, he came over for a chat.”

Alphonse stopped his narrative to spoon down his minestrone.  He had stopped at a suspenseful moment for the girls.  They were curious about Bob’s opening remarks.

“Did he introduce himself properly or did he skip conventionalities and start by expressing his amazement?” aunt Dorothy joked.

(To be continued)

(Continued from March 11, 2010)

“Here is a good example of the negative aspect of blogs,” Elsie observed.  “They help criminals in taking advantage of good, honest citizens.  I imagine that we need to make an attempt to prevent the culprits from making more victims.”

At that moment, the bodyguard appeared in the lobby of the boardroom.  He held a strip of paper between tweezers.  “This is from the inner layer of the bag,” he explained.   The telephone number on it was the same as the one that Alice had just called.  Apparently, several of the fragments, remaining after the robot had done his job, displayed the phone number.

“It appears more likely now that the clothes are part of the aforementioned extortion scheme,” aunt Dorothy said.  “We will write a detailed report of everything pertaining to the ‘case’ and hand it and the garments to the police.  Hopefully, they will find time to deal with the criminals.  There are probably more than a hundred similar schemes in operation.”

While we dealt with the various issues relating to the nightgowns we had continued to nibble on the appetizers.  The few remaining ones were placed on a counter that was a few meters away from the large table where we had all taken place.

Aunt Dorothy had directed each of us to a seat of her choosing—a formality that I enjoyed.  As expected, my chair was beside Thea’s and she took pleasure in pouring a bit of red wine in my glass, requesting that I assess the quality of the vintage.

Aunt Dorothy, who was seated across from her niece, commented: “I understand that you have spent some time in France; and, while you were there, you became acquainted with a wine enthusiast.  So, we consider ourselves privileged to have a connoisseur at our table.  Apparently, there can be quite a difference even in bottles from the same barrel.”

Pointing at the bottle from which Thea had poured, I observed: “Fortunately, I am familiar with the various crus from this winery.  Therefore, I would be able to reject a bottle, containing an inferior wine.  A mix-up can occur, but it happens very seldom.  The French are usually very careful when it concerns export.  Since there is a worldwide glut of wine, they cannot afford to lose overseas customers.”

The wine that Thea had poured into my glass was excellent.  My taste buds immediately recognized the flavor.  Some say that les grand vins don’t travel well and never completely recover from the trip, but I agree with those who feel that, after a period of repose in a proper cellar, they will regain their original quality.

(To be continued)

(Continued from March 09, 2010)

Alice had no problem obtaining the blog’s URL from her colleague and the contact telephone number for the apparel entrepreneurs was readily available.  One did not need to circumnavigate all sorts of security measures to get to it.

Aunt Dorothy advised Alice to use one of the boardroom’s landlines.  “It has an unlisted number and the person, on the other end, will get a fake one.  Then, if that individual tries to phone back, the set will register the date and time of the attempt.”

When Alice made the call, she was surprised to hear a male voice.  She immediately switched to speakerphone and his voice boomed throughout the room.   The man spoke in very fluent English but his accent was difficult to recognize; it was definitely not North American.  He very easily identified the various nightgown labels.

“If you drop off the gowns at our shop, there will be a substantial reward waiting for you,” he said.  He then gave the address of the establishment.  When he asked at what time she would be coming by, Alice answered: “I will call you back.”  And, before he could say another word, she hung up.

Aunt Dorothy praised: “Good girl, you handled the matter admirably!”  She continued: “Obviously, the situation is not what we had expected it to be.  Fortunately, the bodyguard was right when he used a stick to show the labels to us.  He also assured me that he would use gloves to pack the garments in another bag.  In case the police needs to become involved, or for some other reason, none of our fingerprints will be on the clothes.”

“The address is in a somewhat run-down area of the city,” former cabdriver, Alphonse informed us.  “However, I must emphasize that I have never witnessed a crime there and I have always received my fare without any complications.”

“A taxi driver with a less imposing physique might not have been so fortunate,” I observed.  And, while I had the floor, I told them about an extortion scheme that had drawn my attention on the web: “Folks would return goods that they had found.  Then, as they handed over the items, they were accused of theft and threatened of police involvement—if a considerable some of cash was not paid.”

“Our garment collection could easily be a part of that extortion scheme,” Thea declared.  “Other ‘victims’ probably didn’t take the precautions that the guard took; so, they would be more easily intimidated.   Although the criminals’ claims would not stand up in a court of law, some people would be inclined to pay in order to avoid time-consuming complications.”

(To be continued)

(Continued from March 07, 2010)

Elsie remarked that she agreed with Alphonse about there being no evil intent in the teenagers’ prank.  “The bag probably fell out of a vehicle that had previously been parked in the pub’s lot,” she added.  “Inebriated people can be quite careless.”

A frown on Alice’s forehead indicated that she was giving the matter considerable thought.  “I may know about the owners of the gowns,” she said pensively.  “One of the girls at work was talking about a number of nightgowns that had been stolen from three college students.  She had read about the theft on a blog.  Apparently, the students would model and sell the apparel to affluent ladies.  The profit would pay for their college expenses.”

“It appears that we might be able to return the gowns to the rightful owners,” Aunt Dorothy observed.  “Alice, you can perhaps phone your co-worker and find out the blog’s URL.  Then, you can use one of the computers in the boardroom to determine the best way to contact the college girls.”

“Aunt came up with a marvelous idea,” Thea said.  “The students would be able to describe the gowns in a very detailed manner, allowing us to make sure that they are indeed the rightful owners.”

A cool breeze had begun to blow across the estate, prompting aunt Dorothy to suggest moving to the boardroom.   So, the server started to fill her platter with the remaining appetizers while we, carrying our plates and glasses, sauntered toward the impressive building.

On the way to the boardroom, aunt Dorothy made a point of walking between Alphonse and me.  “Both of you appeared fascinated with Sam’s performance,” she stated proudly.  “Would you judge him to be a competent robot?”

“I was very impressed with him,” Alphonse answered.  “In fact I would be very interested in taking a closer look at the little steel marvel.”  I promptly seconded my young friend’s request.

“I don’t believe that you would want to spend time with Sam if you had the opportunity to view his much more advanced cousins.  Furthermore, the guard would not be able to answer many of your questions.  Therefore, I will schedule a visit to the atelier, where research for a still more progressive model continues daily.”

She then explained that robots had been one of her late husband’s passions; and, although producing them was not as yet a good source of revenue for the company, the board considered the future possibilities to be limitless.

(To be continued)

(Continued from March 05, 2010)

Cutting the string, that held the sizable bag and its mysterious contents attached to the Mini’s bumper, was another precision act.  By means of the goggle’s small screen, the guard was able to place the blade right against the cord, at the most advantageous place.  The object that had appeared to be a knife, from the partying group’s vantage point, turned out to be a sort of miniature jigsaw.  A few in-and-out movements of the razor-sharp blade severed the string and the bag sagged neatly onto the wire mesh of the right arm’s improvised container.

Although the robot’s handiwork had steadily held Alphonse’s gaze, my young friend had not neglected his Champaign-serving routine.  We were well into the second bottle of the bubbly.  I had also been watching the contraption’s maneuvers intently.  Therefore, we boys had not as yet savored the great variety of appetizers. The ladies, on the other hand, had all filled their plate and were happily munching away at the delicacies.

Since the robot was distancing itself from the vehicle at a slow pace, Alphonse and I were able to fill our plates before the robot would commence the unveiling of the goods.  Up to that point, the ladies had been moderately interested in the tasks that the device had performed.   However, they were obviously looking forward to a revelation of the bag’s contents.  There were glances, now and then, to gauge the contraption’s progress.

The robot had reached a dry and clean spot at the farthest edge of the paved area.  The guard explained later: “If involvement of the police would be necessary, it would be better to have the evidence in a good place.”

The robot used a utility blade to cut the top off the bag, which was made of three layers of heavy paper.  The left arm then descended along the inside and came up with the point of the blade toward the outside.  After it had repeated that task in several places, the strips of paper fell away from the contents.

A colorful bundle of intermingled clothing became visible.  The robot returned the utility blade to its breast pocket and with its forceps spread the articles of clothing.  They turned out to be flimsy nightgowns.

Alphonse was the first to react to the unusual display: “That explains the snickering of the teenagers in the pub’s parking lot.  My guess is that they found the bag, had no use for the contents and decided to ‘shock’ someone.  They choose the Mini because its back bumper facilitated the attachment.”

The ladies decided to take a closer look at the gowns and quickly agreed that the elegant garments were top-of-the-line apparel.

(To be continued)

(Continued from March 03, 2010)

Alphonse totally rose to the occasion.  He managed to make the cork fly and pour the foaming liquid into my glass, without spilling a drop, while keeping an eye on the robot.  A great example of multitasking!

“One always feels good when a hunch comes true,” Aunt Dorothy exclaimed.  “When I saw Alphonse’s strong hands, I thought that cork is not going to misbehave.  Then, during the wire removal, at no time was the cork pointed at his face, or at anybody else’s.”

After he had also filled aunt Dorothy’s glass, Alphonse started to walk to the right, where there was a large picnic table.  Temporarily placing the bottle at the far end of the table, he handily took the young server’s heavy load and put it in the center of the marble surface.  He had undoubtedly convinced the ladies that the weight of the enormous platter had been his only concern.  I knew that there was an additional one.

The robot had gone around the Mini to the back bumper, which was not visible from where we had stood.  My young friend did not want to miss any detail of the robot’s handiwork.  He continued to fill the glasses at the far end of the table, from where he would, at the same time, be able to watch the device’s antics.   Alphonse’s exceptional adroitness showed that he still possessed certain skills, acquired during his college years.  He had been a waiter in an upper-class neighborhood pub.

The robot’s arms moved very slowly, possibly due to the guard’s extreme caution or his lack of practice.  The forceps of the contraption’s left arm had retrieved a knife from a breast pocket.  After its minutes-long journey toward the dangling bag, the glittering blade came to a halt within centimeters of the bag’s string; and, immediately, the right arm began to move toward the attachment.  It stopped under the bag and spread the prongs of its forceps.  Seconds later, a small roll of wire mesh popped from the arm and unfolded across the prongs.  Then, very slowly, the shallow sieve-like container moved upward.

Because of the considerable distance, the Champaign-drinking folks could not perceive that there was a fraction of a centimeter space between the right arm’s “safety net” and the bottom of the bag.  The guard, who was at least as far away, had not experienced any difficulty in achieving that very slight space.

The man was equipped with a special set of goggles; an electrical cord connected it to the remote.  As the mesh was approaching the suspended bag’s bottom, a decreasing series of numbers appeared on a small screen within the goggles.  The guard decided that two millimeters would assure a gentle drop.

(To be continued)

(Continued from March 01, 2010)

After I had expressed my delight about having been invited to the soiree, we continued with some lighthearted conversation.  There was no barrage of questions relating to my personal life.  Obviously, aunt Dorothy was much too classy a lady to give in to such a despicable practice.   She realized that, within the next days, her niece would voluntarily furnish her with innumerable details about me.  Thea’s happy demeanor had tipped her off.

An unusual rhythmic clicking-sound made everyone’s gaze turn to where the Mini was parked.  The bodyguard had brought in reinforcement in the form of a small robot.  The technically very advanced contraption was heading toward Alphonse’s compact vehicle, guided by the guard’s remote control.

Alphonse was most thoroughly affected by the sudden appearance of the device.  He had evidently been totally in his element while chatting with the ladies.  A causal onlooker might have commented: “Nothing can make that young fellow discontinue his causerie.”  I would have been the only person, on the estate, in a position to call that statement into question.  I had previously experienced my young friend’s unconditional love for advanced technology.

“I don’t believe this!” Alphonse cried excitedly.  “The party proper hasn’t started yet and I am already having the time of my life.  Surrounded by beautiful ladies, I am privileged to be witness to an unusual security demonstration.”  Then, turning to me he joked: “Did you, somehow or other, tie that bag onto my bumper to provide me with this great thrill?”  Not waiting for my answer, he concluded poetically: “Can anything increase the delight of this moment?”

“Turn around and feast your eyes on what is approaching us,” I said, pleased that circumstances had furnished me with an appropriate one-liner.  In fact, a girl dressed in a fancy white blouse, a knee-high black skirt and dark purple stockings had almost reached us.  She was carrying a large platter, containing a bottle of Champaign, high-stemmed glasses and an assortment of appetizers.

Later, when we happened to visit the washroom at the same time, Alphonse confided: “The setting, the girls, the robot, the Champaign—all that made me believe that we had suddenly been placed in a scene for a movie.”

Aunt Dorothy was not going to take any chances with the Champaign bottle’s possible idiosyncrasies.  She motioned to the server to hand it to Alphonse while she remarked: “There is no ceiling here, so you can let the cork fly as high as it wants to go.  And, please, fill your friend’s glass first.”

(To be continued)

(Continued from Feb. 27, 2010)

A well-built man, whom I assumed to be the bodyguard, was directing traffic.  He led the Mini to a parking spot that was far removed from those of the other vehicles.  “My modest automobile is being isolated because the guy is not used to seeing such minute units,” Alphonse joked with a loud laugh.

The man came walking toward us as we alighted.  He asked: “Are you aware that there is a small bag dangling from your back bumper?”

Since Alphonse had backed into the stall, we hadn’t noticed the bag.  However, my young friend knew immediately where he might have picked up the attachment. “Oh, that is why those teenagers in the pub’s parking lot were laughing and waving at me.   They probably tied it on; otherwise, they would have told me about it.”

“You are probably right about that,” the man said.  “However, we have to ascertain that the attachment is indeed completely innocent.  You can go and join the ladies.  I will take care of the situation.”

“A silver-haired lady had joined the girls; and, she had apparently told them to remain near her.  We heard later that she had remarked: “The older gentleman, over there, looks somewhat like my late brother, Thea’s father.”

“What do you know about aunt Dorothy’s late husband?” Alphonse questioned while we were walking toward the ladies.  “The existence of such a stylish boardroom suggests that he was a part of a quality management team.”

“He was the owner and CEO of a company that continues to flourish today.  The firm employs between one hundred and one hundred fifty workers and that architecturally beautiful building is still used for board meetings.  In fact, aunt Dorothy is a member of the decision making body.”

We had almost reached the girls and I became aware of the older lady’s continuous fixed look at me.  Evidently, Thea hadn’t exaggerated.  So, I prepared myself for her emotional reaction.

“Aunt, I like you to meet my former neighbor.  Can you see a slight resemblance to my father?”  Before her aunt could answer–as if the likeness issue was not significant– she introduced Alphonse.

Aunt Dorothy turned to Thea proclaiming: “This gentleman is your father’s exact doppelganger!”  She added, with a happy laugh: “I must admit, though, that you are playing your pretending-not-to-notice game splendidly.”  Then, turning to me: “Sir, I am extremely pleased to meet you.  Welcome to my home!”

(To be continued)

(Continued from Feb. 25, 2010)

After his introduction to Elsie, Alphonse was ready with a clever one-liner.  It foreshadowed the lighthearted attitude that he would display while delivering a comical synopsis concerning his experience with Bob.

On the way to the parking area, Thea suggested that I ride with Alphonse for the purpose of updating him on some recent developments.  She then took hold of my left shoulder, stood on her toes and whispered into my ear: “It is appropriate that he knows, as soon as possible, that he has recently acquired a sister.”

Since Alphonse had noticed Thea’s Audi while entering the parking area, he had pulled into a nearby stall.  Elsie had parked on a different level, so we met her at the exit, where she pulled in front of the Mini to assume second position.

As soon as we were cruising on the straightaway, Alphonse wanted to know about Thea’s whispering: “Aren’t you a bit too old to get cozy with a young woman like Thea?” he joked.  “You are old enough to be her father.”

“I agree with you wholeheartedly,” I replied.  “Therefore, I am glad that she asked me to take the place of her dad, who, apparently, was pretty well my exact lookalike.  This evening will be proof positive regarding the exactness of that resemblance.  Aunt Dorothy, her dad’s sister, will see me for the first time.”

“There is no doubt that this evening’s party will be quite an event,” Alphonse said with the familiar anticipatory grin on his face.  “Will there be any other males in attendance—beside you and me?”

“I haven’t heard anything about other guests, so I am assuming that you and I will have to be at our best in regards to entertaining the ladies.”

“I think that my report on Bob will take some of the pressure away from you.  Do you want to hear some of the details now?”

“Definitely not,” I replied.  “Tonight, after a few drinks, those details will cause more merriment.  By the way, we will all be able to indulge.  Aunt Dorothy’s gardener will be on standby to take us home, if so desired.”

“Are you suggesting that we will have a choice to stay on the premises for some shuteye?” Alphonse asked as we followed the other vehicles through an impressive gate—of which the heavy steel grill closed as soon as the Mini had passed.

“I have been told that the former boardroom, where the party will be held, has a number of small bedrooms attached to it.  They will be available for our use.”

(To be continued)

(Continued from Feb. 23, 2010)

Alice phoned us from the van, which was on its way to Aunt Dorothy’s estate.  As had been expected, removing her belongings from Bob’s had been super fast.

Shortly after, Alphonse phoned me from the pub’s washroom.  He said that he and Bob had been drinking at the same table.  He clarified: “I was having a non-alcoholic beer and Bob is still working on a jug of draft.”  He then asked: “How much time is still needed for the moving process?”

“If you are enjoying your tête-à-tête with Bob, you may, of course, continue for a while longer,” I joked.  “However, all Alice’s belongings have been removed from Bob’s and she is on her way to aunt Dorothy’s, where there will be a sort of party tonight.  If you can fit it into your busy schedule, you are invited.”

“You know very well that I would cancel pretty well anything for an opportunity to meet the other girls.  So, I will say my ‘Good byes’ to Bob because I owe him that courtesy.  The fact is that I have been toying with him a bit, about which you will be getting a full report.  By the way, where is Aunt Dorothy’s estate located?”

“As a former taxi driver, you would be able to find the place fairly easily, but you will need all your energy for entertaining the ladies tonight. Therefore, your Mini can be the tail end of the motorcade.”  I then explained that Elsie would drive Alice’s automobile because the latter went to the estate in the gardener’s van.

Alphonse knew the shopping center near my apartment very well; he had met me there numerous times.  He had a habit of saying: “I’ll see you there in a few minutes;” and, usually, it meant that he would arrive within the next half hour or forty minutes.  I did not mind at all because I always carried a small notebook in the inside pocket of my jacket.  It contained vocabulary for an Asian language that I was trying to learn.  I found that memorizing difficult words was more pleasant at a place where a cosmopolitan crowd passed in front of me.  I knew that some of the strangers would be able to use those words in a very fluent manner.

Because our table at the cake shop was diagonally across from my usual seating area, Alphonse would notice us during his walk toward us. Therefore, I hadn’t mentioned to him about our somewhat different location.

I had looked at my watch when Alphonse and I had terminated our call and my estimate was that his earliest arrival would be half an hour later.  However, Thea caught sight of him after twenty-two minutes and she took pleasure in describing his approach to Elsie: “Focus on a guy, heading our way, who has the widest shoulders you have ever seen.  That is Alphonse.”  I was not surprised to see him moving toward us at an unusually swift pace.  He was highly motivated.

(To be continued)

(Continued from Feb. 21, 2010)

About ten minutes later, there was a third phone call; it was from Elsie, who had driven Alice’s car to the shopping center where Thea and I were bonding.  “Elsie will be joining us shortly.  She is a bit nervous about the ongoing business, so she needs our moral support.”

Elsie had no difficulty finding us at the designated area.  From there, we walked to a nearby cake shop, where Elsie ordered coffee and Thea and I ordered a big pot of tea.  We then spent ten minutes in choosing a slice of cake.  Thea was happy about my partiality for chocolate cake.  Her father had also been very fond of anything made with chocolate.

When we were comfortably settled in a corner of the shop, Elsie told us that Alice would go with the gardener to aunt Dorothy’s estate.  Her belongings would temporarily be stored in the four-car garage, which, because of the Audi’s departure, had a vacant spot.  While she spoke, Elsie looked nervously around the shop.  She explained her edginess: “Someone from the apartment building might see us together.”

“I don’t believe that we have to worry to such a great extent,” I assured her.  “If Alice was with us, the chances of being recognized by someone would be much greater.  As for you and Thea, very few folks would still remember you after all those months.”

Thea declared her agreement with my way of thinking: “If one gets too paranoid about situations that may possibly be dangerous, one loses a precious dimension of one’s freedom.  We should not let our fears affect our lifestyle too much.”

Elsie seemed reassured.  She went on to supply us with more details about the storage of Alice’s belongings: “When the gardener walked into the café, he was on the phone with your aunt.  She had told him to call her as soon as he had parked his vehicle.  She instructed him to tell Alice that she would personally take care of the cleanliness of the proposed area.”

We heard later that aunt Dorothy and the bodyguard had walked to the garage to inspect the space and they had decided that some improvement was needed.  So, he mopped the spot, dried it with a powerful blower and spread a large blanket all across the area.

“Aunt Dorothy is having fun,” Thea proclaimed with a chuckle.  “And, the bodyguard is glad that he could do something that is not in his job description.  He thanked my dad numerous times for advising aunt to keep him on the payroll.  He doesn’t have to worry about his job security anymore; aunt now realizes that the man is exceptionally competent.”

When I asked why Alice hadn’t considered taking her things to her father’s house, the girls informed me that the man was very controlling.  There would be all sorts of problems getting away from him again.  Therefore, Alice would try to find an apartment near her place of work.  Since her salary was substantial, she could afford a place with a secure parking spot.

(To be continued)

(Continued from Feb. 19, 2010)

Thea phoned her aunt Dorothy from the shopping center’s parking lot.  I could tell from her broad smile that her request had been well received.  When she terminated the call, Thea said: “Aunt is instructing the gardener as we speak.  She will contact me in minutes to report on the progress.”

In the mean time, Alice and Elsie were waiting for an “all clear” call from Thea.  They were in a coffee shop that was near the apartment building.  When Thea phoned them about the change in plans, only a few words were necessary to convince her friends that the revised process was better in more than one way.

While Thea was conversing with Alice, a text message from Aunt Dorothy indicated that the gardener was on his way.  He knew the whereabouts of the coffee shop; and, barring any unforeseen traffic problems, he expected to be able to join the girls within half an hour.

Alice wasn’t at all worried about the delayed starting time.  The van would easily hold all the belongings that she had at Bob’s, so a lot less time was required for the total moving process.  Also, the sturdy gardener would handily manage the bigger items with the dolly that he had brought along.

“Now that all arrangements have been made for Alice’s smooth exodus from Bob’s, you and I are going to do a bit of relaxing window shopping.  That way I will come up with an idea for the present I want to buy you.  I have never seen you with a tie on, so you don’t appear to like anything tight around your neck.”

I told her that she was right about my aversion for restrictive clothing around my neck.  Then, with a laugh, I added:  “I see people on television, engaged in such sports as golf, with the top button of their shirt done up and I say: ‘Man, loosen that collar before trying your next precision swing.’  It bothers me that apparently intelligent people play with an unnecessary disadvantage.”

“So you also have the habit of talking to the television,” A happily smiling Thea said, as she slipped her arm through mine; and, for the next half hour, we leisurely walked through the mall, looking at various shop windows.

Within seconds of one another, there were two phone calls.  Alice phoned Thea to announce that the moving process was well underway.  The gardener had brought a great variety of empty boxes, which allowed Alice to fill them haphazardly.  Consequently, he could start immediately with the carting routine.  His wife remained at the van to safeguard Alice’s belongings.

The other phone call was from Alphonse.  It was about an interesting development, which, he emphasized, did not alter the fact that he had a “tight rein” on Bob.  His enigmatic words really piqued my curiosity, but my young friend told me that he had to terminate the call.

(To be continued)

(Continued from Feb. 17, 2010)

The serious expression on her face told me that Thea was giving a lot of thought to Alice’s exodus from Bob’s apartment.  Apparently, she and the other two members of our foursome had not fully considered the possible consequences of being recognized by a meddlesome resident of the apartment building.

“Because of our discussion, I have become more aware of the necessity for perfect discretion.  In condominiums, rumors spread very fast and misinterpretations occur easily, which may lead to Bob becoming the laughing stock of the building.  If that happens, he may lose his cool, which may affect your safety.”

“How would Bob connect me to you three ladies?”

“A number of the residents have repeatedly seen me in conversation with you in the parkade.  How often were you spotted when talking to Elsie or Alice?”

“There are always a lot of people in the parkade; so, we have been seen together numerous times.  However, do you think that having frequent discussions would lead to the conclusion that I have conspired with you?”

“The lady who is fond of gossiping and starting rumors would be inclined to draw such conclusions and pass them on to Bob as facts.  She would do so to create a reason for knocking on his door.”

I had to admit that Thea’s reasoning was sound.  The chance that such a scenario would occur was small, but it was well within the realm of possibilities.  Anyway, I would happily go along with whatever she proposed.  Her serious concern for me felt really good.

“So, I have come up with an idea.  Neither Elsie nor I will help Alice with the move.  Aunt Dorothy’s gardener and his wife will help her.  He will bring the van and they will be able to take everything in one load.  Aunt has been waiting for a chance to help.  “If there is anything you need don’t hesitate to ask,” she is fond of saying.  As soon as we get to your shopping center, I’ll phone her.  And, I will go shopping with you.  Your daughter wants to buy you a modest present.”

Seconds after Thea had made her decision, I received a phone call from Alphonse.  He told me, in so many words, that he had successfully spotted Bob who was lifting weights at a certain distance from him.  “Thea didn’t exaggerate.  The guy is as ugly as his photograph suggests,” Alphonse joked.

I passed on the good news to my driver and she obviously was relieved to hear that everything was going according to plan, up to that point.

(To be continued)

(Continued from Feb. 15)

After a few more seconds of small talk, Alphonse started walking toward the health club and we got back into the Audi for the return journey.  The plan was that Thea would drop me off at a shopping center that was within walking distance of my apartment.  I had to pick up a few items there and avoiding a second sighting of her car in the neighborhood seemed wise.

Thea began the conversation by expressing her satisfaction about the “great” meeting with Alphonse.  However, she urged me to speak to him at my earliest opportunity.  “Such a nice accommodating guy deserves to be brought up to speed, as soon as possible, about the various interesting relationships that have come about recently.”

“That will happen tonight,” I assured Thea.  “I will inform him about al the details concerning our newly established kinship before I listen to the way he managed with Bob. Although, we will be kept informed by phone about Bob’s whereabouts, I will still want to know about any additional interesting details that Alphonse might have for us.”

“You said ‘us,’ which gives me an idea.  Why don’t we all get together later tonight when Alice’s whole moving episode is behind us?  We can have a drink together. I suggest that we have our meeting at aunt Dorothy’s.  She will send her gardener to pick us all up, so we won’t need a designated driver.  It will be a good chance for Alphonse to meet the other two of our foursome and for you to surprise aunt Dorothy with your appearance.  We will carry on as if nothing unusual is happening.  Her reaction will be great to behold.”

“I will be available tonight and I am pretty sure Alphonse will be as well.  I don’t think he would want to miss a chance to put his spin on the ‘meeting’ with Bob in front of all you ladies.”

Next, we had a conversation about being discreet in regards to the removal of Alice’s belongings from Bob’s apartment.   Thea and I agreed that the disguise, used when assisting Elsie with her escape, would no longer be appropriate.  An apartment resident, with a reputation of having a fondness for gossip, had seen the girls.  The woman had stared quite intently at Thea’s Muslim headscarf.   Since the elderly resident had a habit of frequenting the halls, she would in all likelihood notice Alice’s moving process.  And, she would almost certainly pay Bob a visit that night.

In addition to being on the lookout for informal dirt, the woman seemed to prefer knocking on the doors of male residents.  I had been told about that peculiarity by a longtime resident and considered it to be a rumor.  Then, about a month after the warning, the woman knocked on my door at a very inopportune time.  So, I cried out: “I am not full dressed.  What would you like?”  She said that she wanted to see the new window I had installed and she added: “I am not worried about your lack of clothing.”  I told her to go to my next-door neighbor, a lady who had the same type of window installed.

(To be continued)

(Continued from Feb, 13, 2010)

We pulled into a large parking lot behind a supermarket; it was about half a block removed from the health club.  In the far corner of the lot, I could see Alphonse’s blue Mini.   He was standing beside it, with his left hand on the hood.  At185 cm, he was at least a head taller than the sister he was about to meet; and, with his exceptionally broad shoulders he was indeed an imposing figure.

I had told Alphonse about Thea’s Audi so that he would be able to recognize her car.  As it turned out, there were no other vehicles near him so we were able to approach his humble automobile diagonally.  In the few seconds that remained before arriving in my young friend’s corner, I stated on his behalf: “Alphonse has golden hands; he does all of his own repairs.”

I noted with a mixture of pleasure and surprise that Alphonse was wearing his best sports jacket.  It was only the second time that I had seen him wear it, not counting the day that I had gone with him to buy it.  A friend of mine, who operated a men’s clothing store, had been instrumental in getting it costume fitted at a special price.  Very few of the jackets on the rack were large enough to allow enough room for Alphonse’s broad shoulders.

As she pulled her car into the space to the right of the Mini, Thea observed: “It looks like the first brother whom I am about to meet is a big guy.  Are the other two equally large?”

“My oldest son is taller, but not as wide.  The other one is about my size.”

I got out of the car quickly.  I wanted to be in the right spot for the introductions, which came off very smoothly.  As I had expected, Thea was entirely relaxed.  She addressed Alphonse as if she had known him all her life: “I was happy to hear that you were available for this unusual assignment.”  Then, as she pulled Bob’s photograph out of her purse: “Here is the guy’s mug shot; a real brute isn’t he?”

I knew that Alphonse would have liked to come up with a clever comeback, but his mind was obviously busy trying to figure out Thea’s lighthearted mannerism.   So, I quickly responded, thus giving the big guy a bit more time to find his composure.

“That brings up an interesting question: How does Bob compare in size with Alphonse?” I enquired.  “Seeing that he has been my neighbor for some time, I feel strange about not knowing.  I assume that he is fairly big because of all the weights he has lifted.”

“Bob is probably about five centimeters shorter and he doesn’t have Alphonse’s wide shoulders,” Thea replied casually.”

“That is a huge relief,” Alphonse said with a loud sigh.  “Obviously, I lost sleep for nothing last night.”  That remark drew a hearty laugh from Thea.

(To be continued)

(Continued from Feb. 11, 2010)

There was no doubt that, in the future, there would be a lot more conversation about my sons and their children.  At that moment, Thea abruptly changed the topic because she wanted to know a few more details about the young man whom she was about to meet—the lookout who would keep us informed about Bob’s whereabouts during the various time periods of the evening.  The fact that she wanted to know what manner of deportment would be most suitable, vis-à-vis Alphonse, clearly indicated that Thea was very serious about being a good daughter.

“Am I correct in assuming that you have known Alphonse for quite some time?” Thea questioned.

I told her that I had known him for more than a decade.  “He and my youngest son are best friends,” I added.

“That is good information,” Thea noted.  Next, she wanted to know how often Alphonse and I would normally have contact with one another.  I told her that “Fairly often” seemed a reasonable answer.  Since it was obvious that she wanted more specific particulars, I explained: “We email each other practically daily and meet at least once a week.”

Thea appeared satisfied about the way the discussion was going.  After a few seconds reflection, she declared:  “You visit your sons and their families for lengthy periods of time, but they don’t usually come over to visit you for an equally long stay.  Is my reasoning correct so far?” she asked with a big smile that exposed her small white teeth.

I confirmed that her observations contained no errors.  Although I had a good idea about the direction of her reasoning, I didn’t volunteer any additional details at that point.  I was curious about the way she would continue with her logic.

“So, Alphonse is pretty much like a third son to you,” se proclaimed.  It was the conclusion that I had expected from her and I told her that she had made some good deductions.  The manner in which I spoke those words expressed a certain measure of pride.  She evidently caught the connotation.

“I am glad that you are proud of your new daughter,” she said contently.  “Anyway, now that I know about your relationship with Alphonse, I will behave toward him as would a sister.  However, I will not do so in an exaggerated manner because you need to inform him first, in a tête-à-tête session, about the new developments.”

I felt totally relaxed about the meeting between Thea and Alphonse.  She had taken charge of the situation.  I didn’t have to come up with any comprehensive explanations at that point.  It was clear to me that Thea was much more mature, in matters of the heart, than he was.  I was in the privileged position of being a spectator, looking forward to an interesting spectacle.

(To be continued)

(Continued from Feb. 09, 2010)

For me, there was no feeling of wonder or astonishment about my appearance in Thea’s dream.  In fact, I was surprised that it had taken me so long, considering the apparent close resemblance to her late father.  From the moment that she had told me about that uncanny likeness, I began to recall conversations in the parkade.  Occasionally, she would look at me strangely and she would be inclined to prolong discussions.  At that time, her behavior puzzled me.  Of course, for her it was somewhat like spending time with the dad she missed terribly.

Because a couple of days had passed since our get-together in the French restaurant, I had been able to consider Thea’s feelings toward me; and, consequently, I was expecting overtures on her part to consolidate our relationship.  Often, one doesn’t get sufficient time to think carefully about a decision that will affect one’s future in a profound fashion.  In that instance, I did not really need much time.  It became quickly clear to me that considering her my daughter would be a positive move.

My two descendants were both of the masculine gender and my relationship with them had always been excellent; but, at times, I had wondered what it would be like to have a daughter.  I was on the threshold of discovering the special privileges of that experience.  I must admit that the thought filled me with strong emotions.

“Being able to regard you as my daughter would be a great honor,” I said, slowly articulating each word of the pronouncement.  Fortunately, we were at a location where Thea could pull off the road.  She became very emotional; and, when her Audi had come to a halt, she embraced me at length.  She then thanked me numerous times and kissed me on the cheek repeatedly.  The situation demanded that I answer in kind.

As soon as we were back on the road, I phoned Alphonse to inform him that we would be a few minutes late.  Next, I set to explaining to Thea that I should be thanking her for granting me the opportunity to have an entirely new paternal experience.  I then clarified about my two sons who lived overseas.  That clarification increased her joy.  “I have never known what it would be like to have brothers,” she exclaimed and she fell silent to contemplate the possible consequences of that circumstance.

“And, there are more astounding details,” I said with a laugh.  “There will be occasions when small human creatures will refer to you as aunty Thea.”

“You are telling me that you have grandchildren as well,” Thea cried out.  “I hadn’t expected such an interesting development.  Since we never heard the noises that one associates with children, the girls and I thought that you might not have any grandchildren.  Of course, the fact that they live overseas explains the absence of the pitter-patter of small feet, etc.  Furthermore, your lengthy vacations make sense now.   Anyway, we didn’t want to ask in case you felt bad about not having grandchildren.”

(To be continued)

(Continued from Feb. 07, 2010)

When I arrived at our meeting place, Thea was already waiting for me in her Audi.  She had explained about the classy car in the restaurant.  An elderly aunt, who no longer wanted to drive, had given it to her.  The only condition was that Thea had to promise the aunt that she would go shopping with her once a week.

“I made that promise without the slightest hesitation,” Thea said while she flashed a big smile.  “Since my dad passed away, Aunt Dorothy is my favorite relative.  She is my father’s older sister and she is very considerate.  Because of her age, one would expect her to be set in her ways, but she is more flexible than a lot of young people I know.  ‘My shopping adventure can take place any day during the week,’ Aunt is fond of saying.  ‘Just let me know one day in advance.’  She told me that she starts getting ready hours prior to my arrival in order to avoid any kind of stress.  You see, she is a wise lady as well.  Apparently, several of her lady friends make themselves sick because they don’t allow enough time to prepare for outings.  Aunt pointed out that many older people haven’t accepted the fact that their movement is much slower than it used to be.”

Thea had gone into details concerning her aunt because, sometime in the future, she wanted me to meet the old lady.  “I am not sure whether I should prepare her for that meeting or not,” Thea said thoughtfully.  “I t would be a nice surprise for her to meet a man who resembles her late brother that much; but, as I told you before, she does like to avoid stress.”

On the opposite side of the table, Alice and Elsie were still talking about a problem that had occurred at the latter’s workplace.  Since I had not paid attention to the beginning of that conversation, I preferred listening to the young lady beside me.  I was eager to hear more about Thea’s favorite relative.

“Aunt Dorothy is a very rich lady,” Thea continued.  “Her late husband left her everything he owned.  She lives on a huge estate.  Just like in the movies, there are a number of buildings scattered all over the extensive acreage.  There is a gardener’s cottage as well as living quarters for a body guard.  When her husband passed away, aunt concluded that she no longer needed the guard, but dad explained that, because of circumstances, there was, in fact, a greater need for constant protection.”

On our way to meet Alphonse, Thea told me about an interesting dream that had brightened her morning.  She said that among a succession of unrelated images, there was one very clear episode.  “Papa walked up to me, kissed me on the cheek and announced: ‘There is someone I want to meet you.’ From a considerable distance, a man began to approach.  When he came closer, I recognized him.”  She then took her eyes off the road to look at me, saying softly: “you were that man.”

Thea’s father explained to her that he would pass away soon, but that his friend would take his place and regard her as his daughter.  “I woke up crying,” she whispered.  “But, minutes after, I was happy because I had already met you in real life.”

(To be continued)

(Continued from Feb. 05, 2010)

Since Alphonse’s assistance had been arranged and the removal of Alice’s belongings from Bob’s apartment had been sufficiently well organized, it was time to relax and enjoy our meal.  About twenty minutes previously, a waitress had come to our table and had asked whether we would be in favor of having an early dinner.  The chef was expecting a crowd that night, so he wanted to start cooking earlier than usual.  All four of us were in favor since we all had a few things to take care off before the day had totally elapsed.

Again, the food was remarkably delicious; but, although we didn’t rush, we ate fairly quickly.  There was one big difference; we felt that we had definitely consumed our ration of alcohol for that day.  Therefore, we ordered two large bottles of sparkling water.

As soon as I arrived home, I rang Alphonse.  Since he was such an exceptionally accommodating person, he had waited long enough for details concerning what had already happened and what was about to take place.  Of course, he was highly excited about the scheme.  It wasn’t difficult to conjecture about the reasons for his elation.  For one, he was inclined to be adventurous.  Furthermore, he wanted to be in contact with the girls as quickly as possible.  I realized that I might have to urge my young friend to move slowly and to subdue his enthusiasm somewhat.

I would point out to Alphonse that, because there were three single ladies, who had a habit of discussing intimate details between them, making advances toward one of them before meeting the other two, would be like buying the first vehicle shown at an auto market.  I would advise him to expose all three to his good qualities, thereby creating the possibility that at least one of them would become enamored of him.  In order to achieve such a situation, there needed to be a slow process of introductions and exposure to one another in the right environment.

Alphonse would meet Thea first since she would provide him with the health club coupon and a photograph of Bob.   It had been decided that she would pick me up about a block away from the apartment building and that we would go together to meet Alphonse at a predetermined place.  I was happy about that arrangement for I would be able to look after proper introductions.  Furthermore, I would be able to monitor Alphonse’s conduct.  I was glad that I would be in a position to preserve his chances for possible future happiness.

The casual reader may well observe that my attempt to guide Alphonse would perhaps be opposed vehemently by my young friend.  Such an observation would be far from the truth.  After his disastrous relationship with the roving lass, I told him about a number of clear indications that had pointed to her precipitous disappearance.  “My interference, in that instance, had not been called for,” I asserted.

Alphonse’s reaction was: “Please, give me the benefit of your advice next time!”

(To be continued)

(Continued from Feb. 03, 2010)

While the girls discussed the details of a super-quick exit from Bob’s apartment, I phoned Alphonse.  Since he had been a cabbie for a spell of time, he would most likely know the location of both the health club and the pub.

Alphonse must have been waiting for my call, judging by the fact that we were connected immediately after the first ring.  Furthermore, his words indicated an eagerness to speak to me: “I have been waiting for you to contact me all afternoon.  I guess you didn’t go straight home after your lunch with the girls.”

“We are still in the restaurant,” I said, slowly emphasizing each word.  I then fell silent, giving him an opportunity to imagine the circumstances of our situation.  I had noticed shortly after we became acquainted that Alphonse never waited very long for an explanation.  Within seconds, he would put forth his own spin on what might be happening.  I was curious about his interpretation of the lengthy get-together.  I did not have to wait long.

“Did you get into an accident prior to arriving at the restaurant?  That would delay the commencement of lunch.  Reporting an accident—even a minor bender—is a lengthy process.  Or, perhaps, you are having trouble getting out of the parking lot because of a flat tire or engine trouble.  Anyway, whatever the problem, I can help.  As you know, I used to be a cabbie.”

A psychologist friend of mine, to whom I had told about Alphonse’s interesting habit, explained: “your young friend is totally aware of his idiosyncrasy.  He does it with you because you allow him the space in time to ramble on.  The moment you interrupt him, he will apologize and never do it again or ask your permission to do so.”

“So, what is his reason for rambling on?” I enquired.

“Alphonse is expecting a favorable or fascinating response from you.  He enjoys the anticipation to such possibly stimulating news almost as much as the actual report.  So, by imagining vocally what may be happening, he delays your probably captivating account.”

I could have given Alphonse the opportunity to imagine a different scenario by saying: “That is not what happened.  What is your next guess?”  However, the girls were obviously anxious to know whether their lookout would be available.

“We don’t need your help today,” I told him.  “However, we need someone for Friday late afternoon and I told the girls that you would probably have time.  Was I correct in saying that?”

As I had expected, he answered in the affirmative.  I imagine that he would have cancelled almost any activity if necessary.  Also, he was familiar with the locations of the gym as well as the pub.  I then told Alphonse that I would contact him later, thus giving him the opportunity to assume all sorts of interesting scenarios.

(To be continued)

(Continued from Feb. 01, 2010)

“It is obvious that Bob does not respond well to attempts to alter his self-destructive ways,” I said to Alice.  “There is little else that you can do and your decision to get away from him is obviously a wise one.”

“Perhaps, there is one more thing I can do for him,” Alice observed.  “After I have moved out of his apartment, I can write him a comprehensive letter in which I implore him to seek professional help for his alcoholism.  I have heard from an uncle, who managed to become a totally sober individual, that treatment includes instruction concerning improvement in other phases of one’s life.”

“That brings us to the brainstorming session regarding your exit from Bob’s world,” Thea asserted.  “This time, we don’t have another lady in queue for him.  That could make the execution of the plan a bit trickier.”

“I am assuming that Bob’s workout routine is on non-hockey days,” I said thoughtfully.  “Has he mentioned when he intends to have his next session?”

“He plans on going this coming Friday,” Alice answered.  “He has mentioned that day several times because there will be another draft sale at the pub.  So, he will be away from his apartment for several hours.”

“That will probably work out well,” I noted.  “I have a young friend who usually does not work on Friday evenings.   I will be able to send him to observe Bob from a certain distance.   He will be able to keep in touch with you girls by telephone.  I mean, in case some unusual event threatens to shorten Bob’s routine.  Obviously, as the neighbor whom he’ll meet sometime in the future, I cannot be the lookout myself.”

“That sounds like a perfect plan,” Elsie uttered with a sigh.  Both Alice and Thea nodded in agreement and the latter proposed: “To make things easy for your friend, I will go to the health club tomorrow night and get a one-session coupon for him.”

“Alphonse won’t have a problem with getting a coupon himself,” I objected.

“Ah, you don’t know the system at that gym,” Alice asserted.  “Thea will pay half of what Alphonse would pay.  There is a shortage of female members there; so, girls get free coupons and pay half for a male coupon.  The gym’s reasoning is that the girlfriend will join if the guy joins.”

“It is best if I do this,” Thea pointed out.  “Some staff members at the gym have seen Alice with Bob, but they have never seen me.”

(To be continued)